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I know you've probably already learned this valuable tidbit, and please know that I DO NOT mean this harshly, since you do seem to sincerely care: Our society sucks in lots of ways. One of those ways is that women have to be very proactive about their own safety. That sucks pretty bad. Women...

Yes, and that someone is going to be the kid, if any one of you feels wishy-washy about involvement/commitment. Do not plan a kid and have all three of you raising it unless ALL of you are committed to it TOGETHER, and TRUST each others' commitment! If he's committed but you don't trust that...

Through most of your post, I was thinking about how I'd normally think/say something like how you're not dating her, you don't need to trust her, you only need to trust your husband. Express your concerns to him and set boundaries about not allowing her drama into your relationship, and let him...

Another shout of kudos to you for actually listening to (sometimes harsh) constructive criticism.... I know I, for one, don't often sugar-coat and can be blunt to the verge of unkindness.... It's often easier to assume that everyone's out to get you than it is to step back and look at your own...

Do people deserve second chances? Depends, I say. On what? Well, that's up to you.... But for me.... There are plenty of things that will remove someone permanently from my list of friends, and my list of close friends, sex partners, and lovers is progressively more strict. If a lover of...

Quite frankly, just based on what she's heard the male of the couple say, Genebean is not safe with that guy. No man who expects sex or feels entitled to sex, especially with a very new friend/acquaintence who is known to be new and somewhat uncomfortable in a poly or swinging situation, should...

That must have been a horribly difficult decision to make. I hope you are doing okay. It's easy, being on this side of the screen and thinking/saying, "OMG, this poor guy, he should not have to put up with her lying, he should leave her!" And, while I personally would not tolerate the lying...

Just a thought.... You might be able to solve this to the contentment of all with the old "necktie" thing.... If there's a necktie on the doorknob, then there's sex going on and don't open the door. Simple solution. And since MrS only wants to know if he's going to run into sex when he opens...

I feel very strongly that it would behoove you to have him read this thread and see some "experienced" folks' responses to what you've written.... After knowing this latest bit, that the woman has a HISTORY of lying, cheating, and deception, I personally would want zero involvement with her. I...

Though it's not really my style to post just to say, "Yeah, what s/he said", well.... Yeah. What Jericka said. And to reiterate: NOT SAFE. As in, don't spend alone time with a guy like that. Because it is NOT SAFE. That guy? He is not safe for you to be around. Wish I could somehow make...

What, specifically, do you mean by this? "What happens between them" is too broad of an idea; you need to be specific about what you mean so there isn't any confusion when you discuss it with your gf. Do you mean knowing about where they go on dates, whether they hold hands, who ate what for...

A voice from another perspective.... Hi there, moo. I think I can offer a bit of a different perspective, because I understand the driving need for freedom and the ability to do what I want, when I want. I place a huge amount of importance on being free to do my own thing and be my own self...

Date people, not penises. Dating penises is just casual sex. I'm all in favor of casual sex. In fact, penis size might be a reasonable thing to consider in a casual sex partner. After all, your goal is sex, so you might as well aim for what you want to fuck. But a relationship? A romantic...

My guidelines are more for myself than for other partners. I use condoms with ALL of my partners. This, for me, is non-negotiable. If I start a sexual relationship with a new partner, either casual or romantic, I let any/all existing partners know at the earliest possible conveniance, be that...

Just because your boyfriend's wife trusts your boyfriend does not mean that she is under any obligation to trust you - now or ever. But I bet as the relationship matures, she might be able to become more comfortable with your position in her life if you continue to be diligent about your own...

Not all abuse leaves bruises. I believe KindaPOd spoke of emotional/verbal abuses witnessed publicly. I agree that specific examples might be more informative. But words, manipulations, and mind games don't leave physical traces. The damages left behind are way more than just a skin-deep bruise...

Back up a sec, mate. Where'd your inner boy scout go? If you have a sincere concern that the lady is being emotionally abused... I have to admit, from your posts alone, I don't think I'd much like you as a person. That's okay though; I doubt you'd much like me, either. But you won some serious...

I should also say, I think it's PERFECTLY reasonable for him to say he doesn't think he wants or can handle polyamory. What I feel is UNreasonable (to me, in my mind) is for him to want polyamory for HIM, but not you. He's still entitled to want whatever he wants (as are you), but I don't think...

NO. It's a reasonable request. And, frankly, I think equality is pretty important in any relationship. Whether or not you can have that in your current relationship does not mean you can't have it, period. There are always other options. Of course. Absolutely. And, Armani is TOTALLY allowed to...

Please forgive the crude bluntness, but, yeah. You do. And I don't think you're at fault for it. From the outside, this looks an awful lot like emotional abuse. Mind you, this is only based off of your words that I've read, and I am no professional. So don't take my word for it. Just, it looks...