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Yes, that's the same person. Things have been better between us since I posted that, though not without their difficulties. I don't hate you saying that; I really have been trying to keep a positive outlook, and much of the time it's worked...but home alone on a Friday night, my husband in a...

I'm just having a hard time with everything right now. My husband is out of town for work, for several months, leaving me here with our child. My partner has said that he will be "taking more time to himself" beginning in December. I'm feeling very alone and left out of things; I can't go out...

What a great way to put it! I'm glad that you feel better. I've been thinking of ways to do the same thing, but my parents are very conservative and I cannot imagine it going at all well. I hope that yours continue to respond positively.

I met my husband through mutual friends almost half our lifetimes ago. We didn't date until many years later, and have been together nearly ten years now. I met my partner at a mutual friend's birthday party. I had an intense and immediate crush on him, but avoided doing anything about it...

Great article! I enjoyed reading it. I'm more out now than I ever have been; I am married and started dating my partner about 1.5 years ago. At first, I was very hesitant about being out about that (I have a child with my husband, which was the main reason for my fears) but have grown less...

Iris, my landlord is from another country and is pretty conservative in some ways - though his wife isn't - so until now, I've always been pretty careful around them. Heh. Not much I can do about it now, I guess! It's funny to me to think how nervous I was at the beginning of our...

Hope it goes well for you! I don't subscribe to the idea of hierarchies, myself. It's not necessarily the done thing.

Nothing terribly similar, but I have been feeling the urge to stop being so careful all of the time. I am starting not to care who knows about my other relationship (I also am married with a kid.) I actually think I sort of scandalized one of my landlords at my birthday party by kissing my...

Wow. Much to process here. I'll come back to it when I have a bit more time to write and respond.

Thanks, nycindie, that's a good idea. I don't communicate much with the girlfriend, but I could show it to my husband, and he could show it to her. I wonder just how much communication I should have with her. As I said, she started out wanting to be very buddy-buddy very quickly; I just don't...

Thanks, you guys, your words are helpful. Emm, I love that article and have shown it to my husband before. I think there's a lot of other stuff going on here, including me feeling like my life is dictated by other peoples' schedules; it's extremely difficult for me to not only have enough time...

Resurrecting this because I'm still having issues. I am at a loss. As I posted in another thread recently... "(My husband and his girlfriend) are both extroverts and don't seem to understand my need for privacy and a bit of distance. I've tried to communicate this to both of them, with mixed...

LovingRadiance, I'm about at this place with my husband's girlfriend. They're both extroverts and don't seem to understand my need for privacy and a bit of distance. I've tried to communicate this to both of them, with mixed results. At first, she was overly involved in my life and wanted us to...

Absolutely not. I don't like or subscribe to the terminology of primary/secondary; while my relationships may be very different (I have a child with and live with my husband, things I will never do with my partner) I don't feel that one is more important than the other, or deserves to know more...

Yep, that was my favorite part as well :)

Nouryia, thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply. Things have been moving pretty quickly, which is unsettling. But we've talked a lot recently, and he's been reassuring, which is very good. I think I just need time to get used to the idea. I asked my husband if I was like this when he...

One more thing that has just occurred to me: we've had issues with him bringing up other people in what are very physically and emotionally vulnerable moments (for instance, cuddling after sex.) We've talked about it before, and I thought he understood that it was an important boundary, but he...

My sister is generally open-minded, but gets a little odd about my relationships sometimes. "I just don't know how you DO that! I'm way too jealous!" - etc. And if I'm having any issues, she seems to feel that it's *because* of our relationship situation and doesn't have much sympathy. Ah well...

Back again! Heh. My boyfriend has started seeing someone else. I'm surprised at how hard I'm taking this. It's what I signed up for! I'm fine with my husband spending time with his girlfriend. But this just feels... different, somehow. Boyfriend hasn't really been seeing anyone regularly in the...

This thread is delightful and contains lots of happy stuff. For me, loving and being in relationships with two wonderful people at once has been amazing. I've grown so much as a person in the last few years, much of it as a direct result of that. I'm better at communicating, more responsible...