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Purity test? What's this?

Have you been able to talk to her about what happened? It sounds very abrupt. The best healer is time. Try to allow yourself to feel the way that you are feeling and understand that this too shall pass. It may just be time to focus on yourself and healing and doing whatever it is you need to do...

Maybe part of the turn off is that it suddenly puts pressure on the situation? It forces people to make a decision and commit versus playing things by ear. This is not entail either party sitting around and waiting to be romanced into anything. I'm talking about two people who are both...

1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase. The capacity to experience romantic love with multiple people who are all aware of each other's existence. 2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly. I'm a...

It's a tricky situation. For the mono party it's easy to see things in terms of quantity...you get more partners, more sex, they get less time, less attention. What they're missing out on though is the quality. Because you are able to express yourself freely and are not confined, or as confined...

May I ask about the negotiated monogamous relationship part? Is there a way to negotiate a relationship so that a poly person can still feel they are living a poly lifestyle and the mono person can feel that they are living a mono lifestyle?

Part of the rush for me is reading peoples' body language and then sense that you're both singing the same song, without necessarily having to say it right away. On a subconscious level too, I think it's a big bonus when another person's actions are matching yours, it's like signalling to your...

Just wanted to give an update to everyone who has given me such welcome advice. I think I figured something out, On Thursday, my partner, R and I had started talking about the idea of a list and he had asked me to use my discretion and try and decide what would go on the list. That night I...

For me something real has always been about two humans being, well human together. Sometimes people get all caught up in the idea of what it means to be in a relationship and they can convince themselves that things have to. Be a certain way of that they have to behave in a certain way because...

Okay so, I've been thinking about the list and I figured if I went to my partner with a list of what I thought was acceptable/unacceptable behaviour then we would have something to start with. Here are the items I've thought up but I was wondering whether anyone would be willing to add to it...

i've read some very thoughtful, calm replies on posts from you, thank you!

From reading different posts around this site and doing some other research it seems like everyone has varying degrees of and agreements relating to polyamory and how it is expressed. I liked the statement about if someone is bisexual and in a monosexual relationship with one gender it doesn't...

What if you were to talk toyour friend at a time when his wife is around if not within earshot? That way if he wants to bring her in on the conversation he can. I also have another question, if nothing were to come of the attraction you feel for your mate's wife, would you still be interested...

You're right about the guilt thing. There isn't anything I feel the need to hide from him. A few years ago I was in a relationship with a mono guy who was trying to be poly and so far I've been trying to gauge my actions off of that (as I'm typing this I'm making a note that this needs to become...

This came from another thread but basically I identify as polyamorous, for as long as I can remember, even before I had the words to describe it I have always felt this way. Recently I fell in love with a monogamous man. We were friends for a long time and used to talk for hours about...

Oh wow okay didn't see your posts SC and Tonberry! First off...Tonberry that list is a great suggestion. That way we can find where his grey areas are and what is absolutely off limits for him. I do know that he's not okay with kissing and anything sexual occurring with another person...

Thanks for the reply Ciel. It seems like my friends who are mono and in mono relationships just have things lines that they won't cross because that's just what's normally accepted for mono relationships and that's what I'm curious about. I've been pretty good about discussing things with my...

I've been out of the forum for awhile (almost two years according to the little status bar eep!) and some things have changed. Currently I am in a supportive, loving, monogamous relationship with a heterosexual man who identifies as monogamous and is not comfortable with having a polyamorous...

getting to know the other girl definitely makes it easier. just make sure to be welcoming the first time since she's got a lot more to be nervous of since you're the fiancee. plus if you're both is type then you may very well get along as was mentioned. also i identify as pansexual too! :)

Yes, thank you that really does help. We sat down last night and made a written list of rules that we have that apply just to him, just to me or to both of us and then categorized them as essential (like safe sex) , okay for now, annoying and unacceptable (the curfew I have to be home by) and we...