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Its been two weeks since I thought it had "sunk in" to work harder on checking in. The first weekend I failed terribly remembering only when we were at the bottom of a canyon. I had put it on the calendar that I'd probably be taking off but I know Jasper hadn't seen it. This past weekend I did...

I admit I have a hard time understanding all of this as well but the whole story is so terribly tragic and I do feel for you. It strikes me that you are still talking about what happens going forward as if it is your decision alone to make. I think you are taking too much of this responsibility...

my troubles with posting here This may sound related but I wrote all of this before I noticed the rating thing, I actually do think that is pretty funny. I've written a lot in the past week but I can't seem to put it out here. I'm not sure why I thought this blog would be exempt from my...

The troubling part to me is wondering if that is all commitment means to them.

I'm going to suggest you read this thread: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=43306 It really opened my eyes to the need to maintain independence in life and to realize that my boyfriend and I (after 6 years) still aren't actually ready to move in with each other. I've been in...

Nice one! Shout out to the persons who decided to rate my blog haha! The first time I assumed it was one of my guys though neither would admit it. Now I know you raters mean business! Having anonymous ratings on the personal blog section is a little weird isn't it? I might like it.

Another Love This blog seems to have put me at odds with myself. I want to reveal but I want to hide. I want to get it out of my head but I don't want to open up a can of worms. I don't want to worry what other people think but I feel like defending myself. I've been writing a lot lately but...

I have no experience with this situation, but it sounds like what you need to ask for is the freedom to experience, talk about, and work through your feelings without them jumping to fix it by pulling away from their connection or declaring you can't share them. You don't know that yet, so don't...

my troubles with cell phones Had a great 4 days with Jasper visiting Herman and I. I certainly need to get a handle on either solidifying plans in advance or just letting go of whatever happens. Visits always make me feel like the luckiest person in the world. Jasper worked so hard to be able...

No useful ideas to add if a bigger bed isn't an option but your post did bring back some great group sleep memories. Like the first time my boyfriend tried to stay the whole night in our bed, I woke up so sad that he had left. He insists that he woke up on the very edge of the bed, and right at...

Setting out to cover a few points when I started seems to be preventing me from writing other things when I'd like. Getting the first 2 off my chest has contributed to me feeling so great lately that it's hard to be detailed about the concerns I was having at that time. They are long term things...

I struggle with the idea of "coming out" as poly because I've never felt the need to announce my relationships to anyone before, so I can't begin to imagine how or why I would now. I used to have a picture on my desk of me and a guy from a band that caused everyone who came in to ask if it was...

You can't try to apply everything you read about polyamory or open marriages to yourself. There are tons of different situations that people use the polyamory or open marriage label on and unfortunately some people write about themselves or their experiences as if they are the only definition...

This is unrelated but I guess it is part of the love in my life. I wanted to write about something that happened this weekend but I couldn't seem to do it without going on for pages about my parents. Only in the last few years have I realized how much of ones thoughts and emotions can be traced...

Does it concern you that he says he doesn't know why she is suddenly concerned? She is accounting for all the money he spends on you because she is going to demand her half of that amount back in the divorce. It seems likely that any money he tried to set aside for you would be seen as him...

If you live in a community property state you can't name a beneficiary other than your wife without her signing off on it. At least that's how it works in my state.

Take a breath for good stuff Thanks for the tips! I really appreciate it. It's funny that I am only just now getting to posting all this self doubt because things are so good right now. When I turned 30 something flipped inside me that I need to go see everything immediately. So I'm trying to...

Pt 2 Problems are similar with Herman except that we don't fight about whether or not he responds. He admits it and uses the cliche, "that's just how guys are" He says he doesn't know what to say. From my perspective I think Herman seems to prefer not to think about things that bother him at...

About those communication problems Pt 1 Obviously I've condensed my life story to highlight that's my problem. I'm a talker, I want to talk about everything all the time. I don’t know how we got here because I thought I was a good communicator. Since “the blow up” I know I haven’t been though...

How'd That Happen? My boyfriend Jasper and I are long distance and we spend a lot of time on the phone. We sometimes read each other things like Dan Savage's advice column. There is a whole category of letters known as "How'd That Happen?" explained by Savage below: When I asked Jasper for...