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I was not very chill. She was actually really great and comforting. I apologized this morning and she said not to worry about it. I do not keep my cool. I freak out and shut down very badly. In general, in life, I can be pretty competent and together, but with all of this poly stuff I have...

I think I am really beating myself up about this one because I was so sure I'd be ok with it. I have had a LOT of trouble with poly, even though it is something that I want, and threesomes were the one thing that had never bothered me before. We didn't need all this communication and...

Thanks, your replies have been really helpful so far. It is really hard for me to balance asking for things I want (in this case, having the sex stop) vs. dealing with those feelings so my other partner(s) can do what they want (in this case, continuing the threesome). I am feeling a lot of...

Great date ends in threesome. After a while I am not really enjoying it and feeling ready to wrap it up. The other people keep going at it. No one has made me come, my primary is trying to give the other girl a second orgasm -- he has never made me come more than once, or even tried. I feel...

I had posted some very upset threads here a while back. I had a very unpleasant transition into poly, even though I was doing it willingly. Lately, things are starting to look up. I have been seeing a poly couple, and they are just wonderful. For the first time, I feel genuinely enthusiastic...

But for most couples, sexual and romantic exclusivity is a condition of the relationship, whereas continuing to, say, be a math teacher isn't. I am glad I posted this thread. I am realizing that my assumption was that most people's thought process before marriage including some kind of...

Let me clarify -- I'm talking about the threads where people come here and say, "my spouse is adamantly opposed to open/poly relationships, how can I convince him/her to let me have one?"

I wanted to bring this up as something I have seen that is starting to bother me, and I'm hoping to hear some other perspectives will help me be less judgy. I find myself getting irritated at the posts about opening up a marriage. It seems wildly dishonest to me to enter into a monogamous...

I mentioned to my bestie that we have a date thing with a poly couple tonight. She was quiet for so long I thought one of our phones had dropped the call. Whatcha gonna do.

redpepper, if I understand correctly, the chart means: When something happens to another person that is good, and this makes you feel good, this is compersion. When something happens to another person that is good, and this makes you feel bad, this is jealousy. When something happens to...

I wonder if it might not be helpful to separate the boards differently. In my limited experience here, it seems like there are many people coming in and asking the same questions and making the same mistakes that have been brought up time and time again. So the old-timers roll their eyes, tell...

I think so. Now that it's come up here, I'll be sure to post back when we start seeing someone and let you know how it goes.

After many months of interrogating myself on a daily basis I'm sorry to say I don't have a lot of satisfying answers...all I know is that when we've done things together, in the past, it was great and a lot of fun, but when my partner tried to date a secondary without me I was devastated and we...

What I'm understanding from both of you (nycindie and Annabel) is that the main issue is with the unrealistic expectation that everything, especially feelings, will be perfectly equal between the unicorn and each hunter. So let's say the assumption of equal feelings is removed...does that make...

This might not be the right thread to bring this up, but I have been thinking about the animosity toward the unicorn hunter stereotype. I am still relatively new to poly relationships and pretty bad at it, so I might not know what I'm talking about. You seem pretty down on the first scenario...

Why are you married to this guy?

If you'll forgive me for paraphrasing a line from Sex and the City, you're should-ing all over yourself. Forget this shit about what you are supposed to feel and want and how you're supposed to act. Your feelings are important and meaningful and just as valuable in the relationship as this girl's.

Do you have any other partners, or interest in other partners? Do you feel resentful of the money imbalance? You said that you have the "advance notice" boundary that she has respected. In your heart of hearts, would you also feel better if there was a "time spent" (or frequency of seeing...

I have posted a couple times before, but the short version is that I am having a lot of garden variety but very intense jealousy problems dealing with my poly relationship. I have been looking for a therapist to help me work things out. The two I have seen have seemed to generally not be open...

Kind of, but the poly family we know is...pretty far out there. (1 dude + 3 co-primaries, including a 19 year old who moved in with them immediately after their first date and is referred to as a spouse after 3 months of dating.) We actually have a double date with a poly couple from OkCupid...