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I am not an expert and have plenty of my own problems, but what you describe here does not sound like polyamory at all. You mention your kids in the first sentence and then the rest of the post is about you and your feelings. What you do in your marriage affects your kids. You need to put...

A couple thoughts... first, I agree with what everyone else has said. You need to be honest with Y, and counseling is essential. If he won't go with you, go by yourself. Talk to your counselor about how to broach the subject of your feelings for E with your husband. Second, I don't mean this...

I think of being poly as something that I really value and would like to be able to successfully execute (and something I thought I was capable of at one point). But at the moment, yes, it feels more like something I have to just endure if I want to be in this relationship. I think DADT would...

OK, I understand your point, but give me some credit here. I would not date the first person who came along just to appease my partner. His thinking was that if poly is something am enduring on his behalf, of course I don't feel good about it, but if I can find someone else I'm excited about...

I don't want to get defensive, but I feel like there are some conclusions being jumped to here that I would like to address. I mean, every relationship is less than perfect if both people are honest with themselves, no? I would say I was about 90% happy with it before the poly issue became...

Sure, but I'd rather not if it can be avoided.

If this situation is instructive to you, at least some good will have come out of it. What a fucking mess. My partner thinks I just need to find someone else to date so that I am actually getting something out of this. I guess all I can do is give it a shot.

No problem. We do live together, in a big house with great housemates.

1 year this coming Saturday. For more background regarding timelines -- my partner had a couple FWB/casual hookups and we had a threesome in the first few months of the relationship that were not a problem. About 7 months in he started getting itchy to find a secondary. I definitely didn't...

The first issue you raised touches on something my partner and I disagree about. He believes that if a relationship is going to be poly, it should be poly from the beginning -- transitioning from mono to poly is too hard. He has had more experience than I have, but I lean toward what you're...

I don't know what else he could do to reassure me. We talked more this morning and he thinks I just want a mono relationship and maybe we are forcing this relationship and it isn't going to fit. I don't know if I agree and I don't want this to be the end.

What about what you want? Where are you in this whole story?

Sorry for overreacting. I guess it is apparent that this is a sensitive issue. Maybe this is just more self-deception, but I feel like I have been ruthlessly honest with myself, and so far it has caused a lot more additional pain and no relief or resolution yet. I understand the school of...

This was really not very helpful. It may be the case for you that issues with insecurity are unrelated to your partner(s) dating other people, but that has not been my experience at all. Accusing someone you don't even know of "self-deception" when you have no reason to believe that's the case...

Big hugs to you. Breakups are the worst. Can you do something extra nice for yourself? Hang in there. Remember it gets easier. It sounds like you two had a good run, even if it didn't last forever.

I wish I knew what else to do. Even thought I definitely don't feel on sure footing, at all, I don't know how to make any more progress. My partner has given me everything I've asked for, and I know he's impatient and frustrated. I feel like maybe I have to give a little instead of taking...

Thanks for the advice. I think I just stumbled into a dark place yesterday. Nothing even happened, but I was crying all day worrying about what might happen in the future. We talked and I feel a bit better today. As much as I want to ask for more time, I think the fact that I am crying over...

What would be your ideal outcome here? Do you want things to go back to the way they were before, do you want to stay with your wife on the condition that she brings some of this sexual energy into your relationship, do you want to stay together but both see other people, split up, something...

I have had some but not a lot of experience dating women, but I am probably more interested in that than dating men right now. Agreed. But I also don't think I would be doing anyone any favors if he started dating someone while I was completely miserable and hating both of them for it. I...

After a very rocky and unpleasant start to dating other people, my partner agreed to a brief moratorium. It will be up soon. We agreed previously that if we found someone to date together, casually, it would be a better approach that what we tried before (him finding a secondary). But right...