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You are completely right. Sorry if I was unclear. I do not want a monogamous relationship; I do want to find effective ways to work through these jealousy issues, and find the style of poly that works for us.

Thanks. When I first read your response, I was going to disagree and say that the problem isn't that I feel inadequate so much as I feel like I'm inadequate for my partner. But then I read what you said again, and I think there is probably a lot of truth to it. If I felt adequate, in general...

Take my advice with a grain of salt -- I definitely do not have all the answers for myself and can't pretend I have them for you. A few thoughts, though: my first reaction is wondering what is going on with Bee. Does she want this kind of setup? Is she gaining anything from being poly, or...

It took me a while to come up with an answer to this. I am not 100% sure, but I think the source of the jealousy was that I felt (feel) inadequate. There are little issues that, I suspect, in a monogamous relationship, I would be able to deal with and move on, or ignore. But it all centers...

Take my advice with a grain of salt. I have no idea what I am talking about. That said -- what does your husband say when you bring up these issues with him? Have you asked him what he gains from the relationship? It sounds like you have expressed your discomfort to him -- have you told him...

I have absolutely no desire for any other partners right now. I know in every long-term relationship I have ever been in, it was just a matter of time until I did, and because of that and a variety of other reasons, poly seemed like the right way to go. I feel like it would make a lot of...

Emm, I just got around to reading that link. I think it is not an exaggeration to say it will change my life. I feel like this whole experience has been like drowning and I just got a life raft.

Thanks for the thoughtful comments. strixish, since you asked -- the boundary I asked for was for neither of us to date for a while. The first person my partner tried to date as a secondary was a disaster, and it ended due to an important deception on his part. It ended about a month ago, and...

Can setting boundaries be unreasonable? My partner and I are having some conflicts about boundaries that I have asked for. He feels that I am being too controlling and not respecting his feelings/desires. I can talk more about my specific situation, but I would be really interested in hearing...

I just found this forum and have been browsing a little bit -- I hope this is the right place to post. I could really use some help. Sorry in advance if this gets long. My partner and I have been together for coming up on a year, living together since January. It is very serious; we have...