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Your feelings don't seem irrational at all. And NYCindie's idea of a cuddle pile would be so awesome! That connection after sex is something I crave and felt missing from our swinger experiences. I would have felt the same way. We all have our different needs, maybe no one felt comfortable...

Thank you Annabel and RfromRMC. :) Its clear there is no straight path but I suppose that this is expected as life isn't neat and pretty. Why should this be any different than the rest of existence. When its all shiny and new its hard to remember that its not linear and life is long.

i found the discussion on jealousy vs. envy. very enlightening.

Jealousy into Compersion? Husband had his date yesterday afternoon. It went very well. This was with (let's give her a name because it looks like this is going to turn into something) Fawn. They talked for hours, connected really well. She was interested in his life/relationship story. She was...

You said it. :) The possibilities are endless. Her loss.

I tend to lose interest if that happens. The other person has to express at least equal interest in me to keep me interested. We want to be wanted, right? Mutual attraction is important. If someone doesn't express that in a way that makes us comfortable, it's kind of hard to keep wanting that...

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I have struggled with this one, still do. I have a few basic guidelines that kinda help. No idea if they would help you but maybe. I don't leave the when they will call back, or text back, open ended. We talk about a day. "I'll call you Monday." That way everyone knows what day we are talking...

Helena

oooh... motivation.

handlebar mustache included? Thanks, I'm def trying to look at it from the perspective of talk, listen and then decide if this is right for me. If its not it will suck because he does it for me, which is rare for men. But... I don't want to be involved with a cheater no matter how sexually...

thanks and more updates Thank you. I will. There is still the matter of this guy's wife. Her feeling matter to me. They both see other people but don't talk about it. What is that? A lie? He seemed sad about it when discussing it. They attend the same party we do (or did) so that's where the...

oh and btw... thanks. :) Agreed! This is exactly why it feels like figuring out our own individual shit with another person and nurturing that is more important than forcing. I'm gonna keep finding ways to work this into the conversations we have. He is a thoughtful human with a lot of fear...

:( I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I didn't consider the women that we were involved with. While not a perfect human, I try to be aware that everyone in a situation has feelings and they won't be the same. We all have our own and have a right to them. I didn't always succeed but come...

He might. Which I find kind of silly. Why lose a connection with someone because they don't fit into your script. He might not though, sparks have a way of making people want to do rewrites. No, I certainly do not want to. It's not only had a negative effect on our relationship but in the...

All great questions. I think he is doing that self examination. He is in flux, thinking a lot. That fitting people into a box stuff, shrug. My guess, it's knee jerk in a space that's unfamiliar. Imagining an ideal (or even the worst case scenarios) somehow makes him feel in control. Control is...

I'm replaying the conversation (over and over of course) with Hubs last night. LSL (hubs) stated that he isn't interested in dating women who don't have some kind of bisexual or at least bi-curious leaning. His fantasy is that we all get along, cuddle, hang out maybe have sex etc. I'm on board...

cookies

So your wife is allowed to have a regular lover but you are only allowed to hook up with people when away? What do you want? If it's not that then maybe it's time to talk about it some more. Do you want to pursue people at home? Why is it ok for her and not you? I'm new here and don't have a...

peanut