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Hi, I'm Steve, Cindy is my fiancee and Jan has been her girlfriend since high school. Cindy and I live together and we see Jan a lot. I feel like we might have something in common if you want to chat. -S.

Uh oh. This ain't gonna work. I think you know that already. There's just too much hiding and pretending going on. If I were you, I'd look for another boyfriend.

I can understand what's going on. My fiancee has a gf that she's been close to since they were 15 (they're 22 now) and she's always been uncomfortable telling me about anything sexual they do together. I knew she was actively bi when I started dating her. She spends the night with J once or...

Well, in my experience the relationships come before the decision to be polyamorous. I knew my fiancee was bisexual and maintained a loving friendship with the girl she basically grew up with and it wasn't going to end with our relationship starting. So I had to decide to accept it and work out...

I don't see any other way than to bring it up that you're having a relationship with a married woman with her husbands consent. It doesn't have to be on the first date but def before it becomes sexual. You can probe around a little bit and see how she feels about traditional vs. non-traditional...

I think you should go ahead and do the 3sum and get it out of the way. Then maybe the 3 of you can enjoy each other's company more.

Like SC said, would it really be that much of a problem for the three of you to be together sometimes? I was like that with my fiancee and her girlfriend when we first started going out. When we finally ended up in the same bed one night, when we got snowed in, I got to see that what they did...

No one here is going to tell you you don't have a choice. I understand the stress your thoughts and desires are giving you. But reassure yourself that you're a normal, real human being and what you want is natural. Sometimes people need more than what they're getting out of a relationship. Often...

Part of being okay with the idea of her having another man is realizing that relationships can come to an end and it really doesn't matter if there's another man or not. The best you can do for her is to be there for her and share her thoughts and feelings and needs. If she wants another man in...

Hi, You are not weird, or unreasonable. You just want to give and receive love and intimacy with more than one person. My fiancee says it best when she says her girlfriend gives her things I can't and I give her things her girlfriend can't so she feels completely fulfilled with the two of us...

I agree with JaneQ. You're not going to change, you know that. #2 isn't going to be happy with the person you are so I don't see a lot of future with him unless he can accept you as you are. I was one of the guys is a situation like yours, and I was the guy who was okay with it. She ended up...

You're a clear and articulate writer. I think you should text or email her and tell her exactly what you told us. I wouldn't give up and walk away too soon as people sometimes say and do things they later regret. But then they may not be for you. But it never hurts to try.

I'm a guy in a relationship much like yours. My fiancee's girlfriend is lesbian and though I have known her and liked her for longer than I've been going with my fiancee, she has no sexual desire for me. She always made it clear that there would be no sex between us no matter how close and...

Yes, I was in a relationship where I was cheating. on two women. I sincerely loved both but I didn't have the courage to admit it to them and accept the consequences. I regret that I didn't.

Hi, I think more people have been in your situation than you may realize only most people just live with the frustration and never do anything about it. I understand how difficult this is since you don't want to damage a relationship that you value very much, but it's a conversation that has to...

Let the friendship come first, then accept what happens. I think most people were in poly relationships, like me, before they even heard the term.

You write well. I detest the term "swinging". Somehow it denotes something shallow and crass. Sharing a night of intimacy and sex with a close friend should have a better name.

Like GalaGirl said, you get to set your own boundaries. Neither party has a right to impose on another more intimacy than they're comfortable with. I like to say that each person is a whole, independent, complete human being and they get to make decisions about their lives on their own.

Children and secondaries Does anyone here have experience with secondaries, or the secondary of your primary, having children with one of the primaries in the relationship? The subject has come up, and I hadn't thought about it before in real terms, so I would appreciate any thoughts about this.

On only one of the subjects you brought up: you have the right to the attention of the person you're with when you're with them. They should be emotionally available to you and shouldn't be carrying on a text convo with their other or telling you constantly about their other relationship, even...