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My heart goes out to you, dude. Yes, divorce and custody sucks. My parents went through that. The traditional way to deal with it is to separate, get a divorce and throw lawyers at each other fighting over the children. There's another way. That is for you to acknowledge that she's the woman...

I think you should bring it up with bf#1. A surprising number of guys are okay with sharing a girlfriend as long as they know what's going on and they feel comfortable with who the other boyfriend is, i.e. not drug addicted, dirty, promiscuous, etc. I've been in that position a couple of times...

You're well aware that you're entering a mine field where you have to know the terrain and a misstep can be disastrous. Yes, you need a lawyer, and a good one. -Check any gay and lesbian local alliances for the names of lawyers who are experienced in alternative lifestyles and who know the...

I've been one of the guys in a situation like this. There's no choice but to keep them apart. It'll only last as long as they're okay with sharing you. Mine lasted about a year (and then she married him and it stopped). Good luck with that and try not to feel too stressed to enjoy them both.

I agree with nycindie. I think you rushed into having her live with you before things were settled down. You know only too well the mistakes you made, I'm sure others made mistakes, too. Sounds like you need a sit-down and trash out what each of you wants and see if you can meet in the middle...

If you're going to successfully someone's love you're well within your rights to know what's going on. Then you need to set some ground rules. There's no rule book. The degree of openness or privacy is whatever you all agree on. Sneaking around behind someone's back about things the other lover...

I suggest you bring up the subject in an abstract way in a conversation. Ask him if he thinks people are intrinsically monogamous. How he responds should tell you how far to go with that conversation. If you're married, it makes it touchier. I can certainly understand your hesitation, but sooner...

To me the red flag is "be sure she can trust you". Trust you to do what? It doesn't sound like a good basis for a relationship, but I think it'll self destruct if you don't meet her. You need to take care of yourself in that situation and like above posters said, it's ok to set some rules...

Some people on here will post helpful suggestions, but in the meantime what part of the country are you in , and can you give us a general description of yourself and your interests besides paganism. There are people looking for someone to join their families and the fact that you have two...

Yes, this is something I can relate to. I have absolutely no interest in being with my fiancee and her girlfriend when they're making lovey-dovey. The three of us hang together a lot and the gf has been a friend of mine since before I started dating my fiancee so I really don't feel...

In one relationship I didn't. I didn't really care if she saw her other boyfriend or not, but I did want her to make things well with her husband (it didn't happen). In another, I did. Her other boyfriend offered her things she wanted that I didn't give her (Grateful Dead, weed) and I was happy...

I went through this as a secondary also. I really didn't want them to split up as they had two beautiful kids but I found out I really wasn't welcome to try to do anything to make things any better. The problems in their marriage were deep rooted and had more to do with other issues than their...

I'd say you're fortunate to have an understanding boyfriend who has your interests at heart. Go ahead and make your move but be sure your new guy understands he's a secondary and keep everyone in the information loop. It's rewarding and fulfilling to bask in the glow of the love of two people...

kboz, I think I understand where you're coming from. When I got into a poly relationship (we didn't know what it was called, we just did it) it was an opportunity to communicate with a woman directly and frankly in ways I never had before. Yes, jealousy is an issue and even when you say you're...

Helo, I howled when I read that. Yes, it's like a script. Word for word. Fayerweather: Yes, the closed is confining. My fiancee's family is conservative fundamentalist and they're all in the dark, at least until after the wedding, and even then we're going to let them figure it out if they want...

In this case just as you would with anyone else. I had a woman introduce herself to me and I asked her out. In the course of the evening she told me that she had a boyfriend who decided he was going to start seeing someone else in addition to her so she though she would give it a try. It did...

If there is an emotional bond there, time will only strengthen it so nothing lost by going slow.

You're looking for people to make another production with. My concern is that the people who may help you do it don't fully realize the consequences of having their names and faces on televisions around the world. What happens when their names are googled can cause them to lose jobs, not get...

Given you history with them, I think I would let them make the first move. I think it's best to hang out with them and be on good terms with them so they might be comfortable bringing it up. If either of them is not currently romantically attracted to you, your suggesting it wouldn't be...

In my own experience you have to say you're feeling jealous, insecure and afraid, and maybe angry, too, and have people deal with your feelings. If you don't you're subverting yourself for someone else or just to keep the peace, which won't last. It takes a long time and sometimes you have to...