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@GalaGirl~ I agree, building the trust is between me and my gf at this point on. I've confirmed these thoughts with others on reddit over the last few weeks. Thank you for the links to the checklists, I enjoy that kind of thing on it's own generally so making 'work' something that is fun and...

I could be wrong. But it's almost like you are afraid of the other side of the V developing and then GF being put in a position where she has to pick meta or you. And you are scared she won't pick you. Is that it? :confused: I suppose there's always the fear however irrational that she will...

Well of course. It's been the consensus of all involved actually since the beginning. Wrapping ones head around it and then shooting down each variance of it is a continued effort, one that is being less common. Still, I can see how my post comes across as this way.

^apologies--- the fear is mostly to do with major big stuff. It's rather silly to be micromanaging their relationship... though that was part of what I was untangling many months ago.

Hello all, I was re-reading a few sticky threads/golden nuggets, and it got my brain going... I was pondering viewpoints... how I do things, how my gf does things, how her partner does things. There are relationship goals we each have and many of them or all of mine are also shared by gf's...

Hmm... well I agree, and gf and I have been focused a lot on healing and re-visiting boundaries and tentative agreements. She's not interested in dating outside of her two relationships, and would only play casually with consent from her relationships. Though I'm not sure where np is on this/...

I brought up the therapy to my gf as a thing I had to do for sure- either with or without her, and also just solo for myself. I do recognize I have always had issues that I don't do well dealing with on my own, and these were all brought out alongside everything else. So we're seeing the...

She views her relationships as being equally important to her and being in equal weight at a heart/emotional level. She separates them physically and also mentally in her head, and doesn't see them as affecting the other at all in any way. She said she had contention with poly folks on their...

thanks for the replies~ Since I was already very much focused on all I had wrote last night, when my gf got home from work I decided to address what I was concluding with non-consent to relationship models and loss of trust/respect. She let me say it all and didn't instigate a fight (we're...

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=87773 cast of characters: me living with gf (girlfriend of 3years). np (new partner of gf -they are long distance by a 4hrish drive) is married and has a bf. 3 months ago I wrote the above/ and I was in a place of trying to sort out why I was...

@Galagirl, thanks for the reply. It helps to be told to take more time as needed. And also for the reminder of self care. I wasn't even aware of what 'my emotional process' was entirely. I'll try and take a few steps back. The gif. link explains a lot! I'll show it to my gf and np. I...

thank you/ I will check this again and see if there's anything I have not read. It also helps to have a refresher

Hi all, such is the question, and I have yet to find the light at the end of the fear tunnel. I've been with my gf for 3 years now, and she entered my life when I was exploring being poly with my bf at the time. This was... just over 3 years ago I suppose, maybe close to 4 years. I was with...

Hey all-- not much room for explanations on the part of the OP in some of these replies. It could be Tommy's writing style, word choice, etc., but it seemed to me that he was addressing an online community that he felt was a good place to start. Now, that said-- yeah, Tommy, you probably...

Exactly! Binary gender role stereotypes and assumptions of everyone being heterosexual- and when you are in a society with that way of thinking, and you don't fit it, it can be damaging. In attempting to be something you are not is only harmful to you, even if you realize this- it's a belief...

hmm... gender is male, and attracted to people who take on the traits of their opposite (example, women who dress or act in a masculine way, and men who dress or act in a feminine way). and probably mostly attracted to women.

thank you/ I was afraid for a bit that I had offended the community with the marriage view, but then I tend to overthink/worry a bit too much at times! I don't know what to call it, but I've been reconizing that I think something is true of myself/my identity, and then it turns out to be not...

Hello~ I've been a bit of a lurker here for the last few months/ I found this site among others after becoming interested in types of relationships. I am very interested in the exploration of self, but I like to read before taking (if at all) any action. Currently I am in a mono...