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Kernow, Yes, you have assumed right. It was at the home I share with Bo. The birthday party was for our twins. I invited his girlfriend. She lives in her own home.

Exactly! Is that too much to ask? They have a very sexually-active relationship, which I have no problem with. When they get together is not up to me. I don't control that. But, as a party we are hosting at our home is ending is not their "time." Someone asked how long they were gone. I...

Willowstar, thank you for your insight. I would honestly say that both reasons you brought up upset me. I was just shocked that they didn't have the same view about having sex with the children around. So I reacted out of shock. I had never been in a situation like this before. Umm... I would...

Yes, I couldn't agree more. That is exactly why I don't sneak off with him when she is present. If there is sex to be had, she is included, offered an opportunity to join, or say her piece. When it's Bo and me, then we only need to be concerned about the two of us. When it's just him and her...

This also hits home, as part of the issue. He brought this very point up when we talked. But the kids being around is a real issue too, for me.

The other thing is that if one of the kids had seen something, heard something, and said something at school, what would happen then? How would a teacher/principal feel about two consenting adults "accidentally" having sex being exposed to a kid? I am sure that CPS wouldn't be called, but I can...

I sincerely appreciate your honesty. Okay, a question-- what about couples that have a schedule, where one lover has the "hinge" three days a week, and the other has the hinge 4 days a week? Doesn't that also take away the spontaneity? I don't believe I am in control of anyone. I know that I...

LovingRadiance, your elaboration on the word "cheat" sums it up. Based on the definitions, they were both cheating, bottom line. They swindled, deceived, and all the above. Again, if they'd simply communicated to me that they NEEDED the time, they could have arranged a date for later that...

Seakinganswers, I did not know the fantasy side of this situation. That makes sense, because he had been trying with me during the party, more than once. So I am sure that had something to do with it, too.

I very much appreciate everyone's replies. It really helps to get outside feedback. It help me process my thoughts in a more objective way, if that's at all possible. When I said "lashing," that might have been too strong a word to use. I did not yell at him, but he did know I was angry. I...

Okay, so, we are in a V relationship, with my hubby Bo as the hinge. Well, maybe it's a triangle, because his girlfriend and I have a sister-like relationship. We have built this relationship, and were all in a great place. I asked the girlfriend to come to our twin boys' birthday party. She...

I like that method of drawing hearts or xoxoxo. Your wife sounds a lot like me, and my hubby is a lot like you. That method would work very well for me. I have a hard time initiating sex, at times. Maybe I'll think up a playful signal for him, or a way for him to hint that he is in want of some...

This is a good question. I don't know, to be honest with you. We all have threesome dates together. So there are A, B, and C, four relationships, here and now. I wasn't always that way, but is currently. There is: A and B B and C A and C And then there is ABC (including sex). We don't have...

Thank you FullofLove, for that benefit of the doubt. Bo and I have been married for 8 years in April, together 9 years, if you count the year of courtship and engagement. :) We both are experienced enough to know how to be alone. I need my own time, and so does he. When he is "away," don't...

For me, it seems as though poly is not a choice. Well, it is in a way. For some people, polyamory is a part of who they are. This may offend someone, but to me, not practicing polyamory could be much like, not exactly like, but much like a homosexual suppressing their sexuality and attempting to...

Great. I am the same way. We use to do DADT, but now we are very open about everything. It is arousing, exciting, and sexy for us to talk about the "details" after a date, especially when there was hot-n-heavy sex.

After reading this, my first impulse was to become defensive. "I AM poly; I am not one that becomes ready for it!" But I can infer you intent was to say that I may need more time before we take the next steps, is that right? I am somewhat "organic," in that I like to experience all aspects of...

That's an interesting thought. How does one become ready? The truth is, we have been poly for just over two years now, so ready-or-not, here we are!

I totally get the need to get better at being alone. One of my friends, married with children, actually takes vacations by herself. I have NEVER heard of that, but have always admired her for doing that. She would book a trip somewhere for a weekend and leave her hubby and kids behind, and...

It's been 5 hours since Bo left, and I have now entered into the realm of struggle. My primary is still out with his girlfriend, and I find myself periodically wandering into thoughts of what they might be doing right now. Crap, I was doing so well. I am trying so hard to be 100% okay, but I...