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She does not sound like a partner that can handle poly in a healthy way. I agree, you MUST move on. Have you pondered why your interest in T? I would be afraid to continue a relationship with T in any way....but I am simply going off of the little bit of information you were able to type in...

Great, thanks. XOXO

My father is like that. He has divorced his wife, Kay. He has a girlfriend, Ariel. But he still lives at "home" with Kay. They fight all the time. Kay is an alcoholic, and has no means of financially caring for herself. ,She does not work, and is not in good health because of her disease. My...

I would say the same thing, if (for now) you need a reconnection...then you should communicate that and together figure out what that means for you guys. I can definitely see the rational behind needed some sort of reassurance that his love is still there, that he values you too. There in...

Really? That's interesting. I find it helpful in that it brings light to some of the things I have been working on. But I can see how it is would be cliche. By all means, I know it is not the ONLY literature out there. For me, a recently-realized poly, it helps quickly make sense of some of...

Hello all, I just purchased The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory. I totally love this book. It is an easy read, with just the right amount of dry humor to provide a laugh every now and then. :p I am sure many of you know about this book, but if there is anyone out there that has...

Also, I will definitely keep you posted. It is awesome that you guys are so supportive here. I know I am poly, I just never knew what is was called, and that there was a community of people like me. I am happy I found this forum.

Thank you, Kevin. That makes sense. I also feel better about it now that some time has passed. Cass sent me a message today saying she had a dream about me and her stroking each other's hair. Hair handling in our culture is a very loving and intimate thing between women, a sisterly act. Cass...

Yes, I feel that in order for me to grow into this situation where my husband is being emotionally/socially intimate with another woman and I am at peace with it...I need to stay busy. I need to find something fun, interesting, and wonderful to do in order to be at peace while they are out. Is...

:eek: Hello, My husband Bo and I have been poly for a couple of years now. He has been dating his ex-wife. They have actually been off and on since before Bo and I met. They decided to continue their off and on relationship even though I entered the picture. The policy before has been "don't...

Yes it does, so what do I do about that? Exist in secret for now? Oh yea, please excuse the typos. I'm using my cell phone.

Hey everyone, Bo and I are giving it a go again. Our very first FMF relationship did not work out. It had much to do with the way it started. Bo husband admitted to having a relationship with Bess behind my back and had been secretly building a relationship with her for 6 months when I found...

No, I haven't seen those posts yet. I'll take a look at them. :) You mentioned there is more to it than learning and nurture. What did you mean? Enlighten me, if you will. The more insight, the better, you know.

Dreamy, that makes so much sense, especially when you mention our pre-programming from mono teachings. Currently I am happy. Would our set-back even have happened if we'd grown up surrounded by poly? I honestly think not. Of course, it wouldn't be perfect, no relationship is, but lots of the...

Funeralopolis, yes, I know what you mean by finding a way to be OK with it all, because that's where I am. It must be great once we get there. So many practice this lifestyle and swear by it. How can they all be wrong? Well I guess if you're mono, then they are wrong. That's why it is so...

You know, Dreamy, that's what worries me. Is there something I'm missing? With the boundaries I have in place, it's all good. But if crossed, then... :( I did have a bit of aftershock, which stemmed from something I learned about after their rendezvous. But I am fine now. We talked about it and...

I am no expert, that's for sure. But I have come to the realization that all must be comfortable for things to work. If you are not comfortable, that discomfort can lead to lots of negative emotions and problems later. I say keep talking and negotiating until you both (or all three) find...

Bo returned home as scheduled. One of my boundaries is no overnights. That may change as time passes, but I don't think so. I asked him if sex happened. He said yes. I am not hurt, angry, jealous, or sad. It actually excited me. I must be a perv. :p I asked for a general run down, not too...

How long have your wife and him been dating? Has it been a while or is it relatively new?

Well, Bo found a partner. We all met today and talked. They have a past. I won't go into it, but if you want to know, just ask. Hannah is great, fine with my boundaries and everything. Being excited, Bo asked to go see her tonight. I told him I was okay with it. They have my okay to do what...