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Oh don't be sad :-) We have been leading this lifestyle for over 3 years now. I am not saying we (I) are experts in any way but I can assume that each group of people has its own dynamic/personality. It may sound easy enough to have a conversation like that but you cannot go into it blindly...

Thank you for all your comments, I completely understand. Perhaps my arrangement does not allow me the room to explore as much as I would like. The primary question remains is whether we would agree to open our group. I know the answer is NO. We all feel we have found a near perfect...

Thanks Kevin. I am looking into finding a therapist. I am very certain that opening up is not possible. At least I am not emotionally ready for the monsoon of drama that convo would create. Perhaps I may need to show a little restraint. What is it that they say... Too much of a good...

Yes that's right Karen. We are a closed quad. Definitely going outside of that would be considered cheating

I have found that families are typically judgemental and that's ok (and very frustrating). They may not understand nor agree but they still love you the same and hopefully will learn to accept in time. But, yes I also agree it's too soon. We only told our children, close friends and family...

Hello Everyone, As most of you know, the wonderful lifestyle we lead has some significant advantages to it. Being able to love and be loved by more than one but also the intimate connections as well. But I can argue that there is a difference between making love (emotional connection) vs...

I agree with that completely! ~S

Drakkaras... every forward has its backward. Hang in there. There was a joke with my OSO that every time we got together as a "family" I would behave distant and to some extend "normal". For some reason it seemed natural to me because I always worry that someone may feel uncomfortable if I...

Awesome! I look forward to hearing more.

Ah yes... my experiences with telling only family and close friends has been "interesting". Overall friends have been ok with it... similar responses to others here "I don't think I could do that but if you are happy, I'm happy for you". But some family has been VERY critical. They worry...

NRE is definitely intoxicating... have fun on your evening out. The only thing I would worry about is when relationships are not the same. Your wife may be telling you "it's ok", "I'll be fine" but i wouldn't believe that. I am not suggesting she is lying only that feelings of jealousy and...

Wonderful News! It sounds like you are all handling this perfectly. ~S

Nothing to worry about... Hey Everyone... Give the poor guy some hope. Maybe quads are rare but I am living proof that they are successful with the right amount of patience and understanding. They are all in a new complex relationship... its takes time for people to figure things out. The...

No worries Thanks for the additional background Lang. It's doesn't sound like much of a problem from my POV. In fact it sounds very, very familiar. Both myself and the other wife were the adventurous ones. My wife and the other husband where at least 3 gears slower... at the beginning...

Yes I would agree with that approach. I don't know much about your background or how it happened. I remember how confusing the first few months were. I found it easier to rationalize "a FWB only" situation. 6mo later we all found there was far more deep seated feelings than we wanted to...

Lang that's how it happened with our group... we were close friends for years before anything happened. I remember how confusing and exciting it was the days following our first time. First someone needs to be bold and suggest a group face-to-face convo... it is very important although expect...

PolyFi Quad It has been a while since I have lurked/posted on the forums. Yes, Quads are rare but there are a few us out there. :-) I chimed in to say that success is possible and we are proof of that. Completely by accident, my wife and I joined another couple over 2 1/2 yrs now and all I...

Open Happiness Happy Wednesday! After an amazing 2 yr journey our PolyFi Quad is now officially out to our families and close friends. It took us a while for all of us to agree that we need to share who we are but over time became more and more difficult to hold onto the secret. We were...

Everyone needs to consider the group dynamics of a closed quad. IMO that's what is at play in this post. When all the relationships are healthy and happy it's truly magical and blissful. But when someone is unhappy, off or if things not quite equal (ie. passionate relationship vs a causal...

Haha yeah...