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  1. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Greetings everyone, The adventure continues....... I have rediscovered an old high school friend of mine, whom I loved deeply. Not in the romantic sense, but we connected mentally.Our friendship was intense and very intertwined with other high school friends who are beginning to come back into...
  2. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Yes true in your case Mono, but that doesn't mean that some mono women aren't fine as all get out and in need of something special in their lives. Like me? :cool: In that case, I may find it very necessary to carefully explain all of the good attributes of ploy, while downplaying perhaps it...
  3. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Well, like all topics of debate you have some who wish to explain & convert, or at least get someone to see your POV. Then there are those who would rather not influence others and feel no real duty to explain it, especially if they are hostile, or rude about it. Which I am... I prefer...
  4. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Thanks for that Crow. I realize the sensitive nature of the boundries that we have with our spouses. Apparently you have not come across a situation where you thought you might need to tweek the rules a bit, because you or your spouse were feeling uneasy about something. I guess trust is the...
  5. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    My wife and I laughed about it afterward so I'm not bothered by it. I'm certainly not worried about what she thinks of me. But going off topic: Being poly has totally changed my outlook on marriage. I see this as an evolution in thought and I don't think I could, or would go back. Eliminating...
  6. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    I certainly was not trying to point a finger at you about this response. In fact, I did look up Poly people, but they seem to be few and far away from me. I am still looking though. This was something that occurred because I had rated her high, and she rated me high, she instantly received an...
  7. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Hey everyone, I just thought I'd share a response I got from a woman on OKCupid that you might find interesting. ME: Yes, I'm married. I'm upfront about it, and she knows that I come here to meet people. And 'weird' though it may be to some, my wife and I are okay with sharing each other. I...
  8. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Thank you Sunnydee for the advise. I did sign up to OKcupid, and with some persistence perhaps something might come of it.
  9. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Let me just take this moment to thank everyone for being so understanding and accepting about this. I appreciate all of the comments and I feel much better with you guys being a support group. Honestly, I have always wanted more than one partner/lover/emotional friend, but I think I was just...
  10. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Well, my wife thinks I should be up front with everyone I date right off the bat. And I agree from an ethical point of view. However, from a probability POV I think I should give it some time. Let them get to know me. Decide whether or not I am someone they like, then tell them. Two schools of...
  11. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    You seem to at least want to have the answers people are looking for. Perhaps you have graduated to a degree that you can look around at us, or just me, and find these things amusing :D Like watching a pet search around in new territory can be both interesting and funny because they haven't...
  12. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    That's great. I'm glad you feel that way, makes me feel we are on the right track with this. I guess I feel that there should be some space given to the new relationship and that perhaps the details could be left out. I can understand more in a vague, general disclosure maybe. But, the truth...
  13. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Awesome RP....Thanks for sharing that with me. Ame - I think your pretty close. For her I think perhaps the newness of a good relationship can get her going, but it fizzles pretty fast. Her fiance, before she met me cheated on her because of this same thing. I held in there and I'm glad I did...
  14. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    Thanks Mono...I appreciate that. This transaction has helped more than you know. My wife and I had a discussion tonight, again. This time she was asking me if I had been able to read two books we purchased "The Ethical Slut" and "Opening Up" She has already read one of them. I told her that I...
  15. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    First off, I would like to thank everyone for their replies. Perhaps Mono is right, maybe I'm looking for a "manual" from a group of people with varying experience. However, I did not mean to elicit personal information or become this posting interloper. It's true that the boundaries are...
  16. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    I would like to explore other people's boundaries, and get specific , because they define the parameters of the core relationship. Is everyone is different about what they expect from each other, or aren't they? I would think they are not. All of the pieces with someone fits. All of my needs...
  17. beatbox151

    Total Reprogramming

    "All the lonely people, where do they all belong? All the lonely people, where do they all come from?" ~Beatles When my wife initially approached me a few years ago about opening up our relationship, we were in a very different place. I said no, because the terms of the arrangement were very...
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