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NYC wrote: Well, NYCindie, I know many people would consider 3 days very part time. I fully realize all relationships are different, and some people require/need their alone time more than others, perhaps to keep their sanity, because they simply can't be around one person for extended...

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Your candor is appreciated, Opalescent. Reality...

My girlfriend Maya is extremely independent. She relishes time on her own, by herself, doing her own thing most of the time. When I asked her the following question: "Ideally, how much time per week would you like to spend together?" her reply was three days/nights a week, with texts/phone calls...

Okay, I'm stuck. I have gone back and forth, round and round. I could really use a different perspective on how to accomplish getting past a seemingly obvious impasse in a relationship. I need help achieving fluidity (in the dynamics of the relationship, not as in fluid bonding, just to make...

Have u seen this thread? It's an ongoing discussion about 'sex at dawn' book. I've only read the last few postings and they were very worthwhile. C http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7555

Putting down my weapons I have not gotten very far fighting my emotions... I'll try and make peace. Thank you River.

Thank you GS for your patience... and persistance... while *"walking" with me through this. *I am understanding... *Allbeit agonizingly slowly. Funny you brought up the analogy (my brain thinks in analogies!) of: "If we have tied our rope too tightly to any particular buoy we may get swamped as...

"On the other hand, in at least some Buddhist circles, the word "detachment" is roughly equivalent to the word "equanimity". To have equanimity with respect to something is not to regard it in a way that is cold or unfeeling or vacant; rather, having equanimity involves having a good, healthy...

"art to developing detachment" ive been rolling around with this for 'daze'... initially thinking "developing detachment" was the saddest statement I ever heard in my life. Yes GS... it still seems so very sad. I must not be seeing this for how it is meant.* *I don't feel adiction... *I feel...

Here is another acronym-- CRAP: changing relationship adjustment period

Exposing my belly here... RS text me this: "Ask yourself if a lot of your angst is about giving up control of what you Can’t control' and don't want to anyway. I think it might be about that...XO" Acknowledging this... And realizing i can't be this way anymore... While at the same time not...

I am realizing this now as my request for "optimum time you (RS) want to spend together" has been answered. Ill pay more attention to the clicking of your heels RS, and why...and Ill try to stay away from Oz.

"art to developing detachment" ive been rolling around with this for 'daze'... initially thinking "developing detachment" was the saddest statement I ever heard in my life. "Therein lie the seeds of dependency (and despondency)." now i need an axe to hack down what i thought...

Oops, meant to spell that MORENESS... Hello again, I was asked by my SO, Rubyslippers, to seek y'alls thoughts on this, as I'm in unfamiliar waters.... again. Navigational aids would be appreciated so I don’t end upon the rocks. (Like my two marriages did...) I’ve always 'jumped' right into...

This was what I was also wondering. What has come up as a result of having cheated. What realizations about what you did have changed in you since experiencing your love going out and sleeping with other men? Redpepper - If i understand your question correctly, ( I don't think I am though..)...

Thanks groundedspirit, I will heed your advice.

Redpepper …. I think I totally misunderstood your comment….oops.. What I have realized is that so far my trying to rationalize my irrationality with reason isn’t working… I will apply the tools you all have given me and with any luck M (rubbyslippers) wont throw me overboard…. By the way...

For what its worth, here is the rest of the orriginal posted tread Double Standard, it might give some background for what its worth. If you want to know more, here it is More about me. One way that seems accurate to me when differentiating between what I want with my others and what M wants...

I agree it helps nycindie. But do we really know what is "identified" is the true reason for the issue? No real way of telling, is there? Im not being synical, just saying...