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Devils advocate here.... It doesn't sound like she is ready to live poly from the definition generally used in this site, as in honest, open communication and commitment to working on ones own issues as much as the relationships. I know I really don't have enough info to be saying some of this...

Chuckled. I grew up on that region of Oklahoma and just had to take a moment to salute you for thinking beyond the walls of the religion. Welcome.

ROTFL! Totally off your topic but I have to tell you it could be worse....you could live in the Bible belt. Try to find some interests that will get you together with different groups of peeps. Perhaps meetup.com or some such would be a good place to look for some groups. A lot of these are...

I was referring to how when a relationship has been going for a while it is easy to lose some of that energy that is inherent in a new relationship. Have you read anything about New Relationship Energy yet? Also, as you know, women experience all kinds of ups and downs depending on what our...

First of all, it sounds like you two have the communication part down pretty well. I agree with you about how so many people hide who they are and what they really feel and believe and how detrimental (can't spell, sorry) it is to good relationships. Second, passion, sexual and romantic, ebbs...

I have to open my big mouth and say I agree with November Rain. I never even bothered to type an intro but went to reading immediately. Following the experiences and questions of others has allowed me to learn so much and save myself from repeating the same mistakes. I think it is often the...

So be honest with yourself....what would this "man" (and I say that tongue in cheek as he sounds very much like a teen boy) do if you were to take sex off the table for a while? Whether you are mono or poly is really irrelevant at this point because you are caught up in a cycle of abuse...yes...

Well, you just find a time and sit down and talk about the differences between monogamy and non monogamy and tell him you have been recently thinking about whether non-monogamy is an option or not in your marriage. You will never know how he feels about it if you don't address it with him. The...

I agree. Your view of your friend reminds me of a child who has been chronically abused by a parent and fights to get back to the parent after being removed from the situation. It is what the child knows, even if they have comprehension that their parent has done bad things to them, they still...

:eek:I'm concerned that you have chosen to maintain the friendship over the years when this woman has repeatedly betrayed you. If she had the face of a donkey and the body of a mangy monkey it still would be unacceptable. I say this out of compassion, not mean-ness....you should consider seeing...

You feel betrayed...who wouldn't?! Announcing being poly after cheating is not cool. No, I don't think you are being too harsh. What happened and the subsequent revelations has got to be just awful for you. I don't see how they can think you are over-reacting if they have an ounce of compassion...

Maybe I'm just in a weird mood today, but this thread is fascinating. I'd like to see how this plays out along the journey. Now who is the morbid one? And no, I am not predicting disaster, or anything like that. I think the honesty about how they got to where they are is very refreshing. There...

thank you for sharing your update. It is really wonderful to hear success stories.

Oh River....I really like paragraphs two and three very much.... may I please quote you? How eloquently and insight-fully you described healthy vs. unhealthy relationships! Kudos.

Way to go...and the Borg thing is just creepy beyond words! Yippee for boobies! I have enjoyed the heck out of the lighter moments in this thread and empathized in the sadder ones. Live and learn and enjoy the Luvs while they last so you can rejoice when the time of wiping up poo has passed...

I think you are way ahead of the game to be able to recognize how unrealistic their approach was and to decline to continue. You are likely right, they don't know what they are doing and it very likely would end in disaster. Hopefully they will educate themselves. We are new to poly ourselves...

To: New and Excited Well, it seems to me that there are boatloads of couples looking for a true love relationship triad. I know I have never posted on here before but your question took me by surprise because I have never seen it posted here or elsewhere before.... My gut reaction was "Is...