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This is a FANTASTIC way to put it. One relationship foundation at a time, indeed! Personally, I then take it from there as you can only build and maintain so many at a time. Time, like I said, is FINITE.

I'm glad we got the other side of the story! It sound to me as though you are truly sorry for what happened, and are really trying to make it work. I don't know that my post will help any, but just to give you another perspective: I mentioned a woman named S on here earlier. She's my fiance's...

I am personally FAR more comfortable with a "closed" polyfi relationship. The difference happens here for me: When you have a primary couple, where both either see the same third/fourth/fifth person, or where both members of the couple have flings/FWB/whatever on the side, there is no reason...

I feel very much the same way. I'm sorry you've found yourself in such a situation, my friend! A past relationship of mine went very, very wrong after she told me that it was basically either let her see other men, or she was going to cheat on me and I could take it or leave it. I decided to...

Allow me to thank everyone who PM'ed me, and those of you who responded to this thread. Especially you, Ceoli. Those LONG IM conversations gave me a different perspective on the matter, and I think were a large part in helping me bring my deeper issues to light. After a lot of thinking, and a...

Wow! This sounds VERY similar to the position that HMA, Anne, and I are in. I hope he's able to give you some insight. Time management is one of the biggest things we struggle with in our triad. HMA and I live and work together, while Anne lives nearby but not with us. We see her several times a...

I sent you a PM back - anything you have to say would be amazingly helpful. Whether you're right on the money or it doesn't apply, I don't care. ANYTHING is better than going on the way I feel and a whole shit ton of nothing. That's the thing! We WERE doing swimmingly! Everything was falling...

Okay. So, I haven't posted here because I'm dead scared of the fucking flack I'm sure I'm going to catch for this. But, it's getting to a point where my mind is officially caught in a vicious circle that I'm unable to break. Not only is it fucking up my relationship with HMA, it's fucking up our...

Those webpages are amazingly helpful. They helped me to do the same, get my thoughts across clearly. A great resource. Glad they helped. Wishing you all the best for the future.

Thanks for that, YGirl. I don't mean to come across as attacking, but if I do, I generally don't care. Advice, especially about something like this, shouldn't be sugarcoated. Sometimes realities are harsh. Having been there and done that, both seeing HMA go through it, BEING the one acting that...

I also really don't mean to come across negatively, Red, but DAMN girl! You need to fucking check yourself! :eek: I could rant off for HOURS about exactly what about your posts just flat scared me, the parts that made me shake my head, the parts that resonated with me, and the overall tone that...

Welcome to the site hun! Another place you could try exploring (if you don't already - pretty common site within the lifestyle...) is www.fetlife.com There are a few groups that are dedicated to Poly as it relates to BDSM. HMA and I have a few close friends who practice Gorean - like he said...

I can understand what you're saying here. I guess my feeling on the matter, to bring the thread on topic for a sec, is that the husband needs to set ground rules based on his wife's NEEDS, and based on her morals and values. There is a NEED for those to be respected. IMO, there is not a NEED...

The bolded is something HMA and I have had EXTENSIVE conversations about, and it took me a GOOD long time to get him to see how I didn't see it as hypocritical. Because I don't. lol It basically stems from the fact that I identify as a lesbian. I have been in a few long-term relationships with...

Aww, thank you! I'm a very opinionated little creature. :D I have a good, hard time keeping my mouth shut. That's the point I feel was missing. You act according to your BELIEFS. And forcing yourself to ignore something or be comfortable with something is NEVER a good idea. I know, I've fallen...

FWIW, both HMA and I have expressed our dislike of what Anne is doing, and we've both expressed just how unfair it is to him. I guess we're just letting a sleeping dog lie for now, but I personally can't let the dog lie for long. She's going to see Mike this weekend, and after that the...

Lawful neutral as always, baby. lol Alternate points of view are always a good thing. The part of this that makes me uncomfortable is bolded. I can say that I honestly feel that if DP isn't comfortable with the situation that M is bringing into her home, that is that. Granted, she is actively...

I truly wish everyone the best in this situation. Good luck, dearprudence. And it's good to see other people chiming in and owning up to when they themselves have needed a swift kick in the ass, combined with an uncomfortable conversation. lol God knows I've been there!

EXACTLY. I realize that by sheer virtue of the lifestyle those of us here lead, that we aren't judgmental. But, as you said, SOMETIMES people's actions DO in fact require exactly that. HMA, Anne, and I had an uncomfortable conversation last night, not about this particular subject, but about...

Your entire situation hits VERY close to home. HMA and I have run into something similar with our "unicorn," Anne. She is currently in a long-distance relationship with a friend-turned-lover, while dating us. She has made it sound sort of like she was ready to break it off, etc., etc. But she's...