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  1. janeb1958

    It's all new to me!

    Well, that was short lived...never even had a chance to go out with the new guy -- he just faded away into the sunset, I guess. He called last Friday after a few "cool" days of not much contact. We talked but it was a little distant. But he said he'd call over the weekend. I guess he didn't...
  2. janeb1958

    It's all new to me!

    thanks -- yes -- hate is a strong word & I don't understand it myself. We were suppose to talk, with mediation, and all she could do was yell...that was a few months ago -- but now they've started seeing each other again (they've known each other about 10 yrs). He wants us to try the mediation...
  3. janeb1958

    It's all new to me!

    One of his lovers hates me & I see the pain...I certainly don't want that on my side...I like the thought of -- why can't we just all get along!!! Thanks!
  4. janeb1958

    It's all new to me!

    I'm sorry -- I"m sure it's me -- when I get excited, I write confusingly!!!! YES, the 3 were me, the new guy & my love of 11 months! The guys got along great!! I spoke with the new guy on the phone later -- he likes me!!!
  5. janeb1958

    It's all new to me!

    I've been with a poly man for about 11 months. He's married (she & I are friends) & has several other lovers (don't like one of them but ok with the others). He calls me a life partner - I see him more than any, other than his wife. It's all new to me but do understand I can't expect him to...
  6. janeb1958

    Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

    Not a failure is always a good thing!!!!! I'm so happy for you!!!
  7. janeb1958

    For those of you with live-in primaries...

    Are y'all poly? I thought poly meant transparent? Doesn't sound like there is much transparency here -- sounds more of cheating - that he's hiding this relationship -- for me, that's not healthy. I, too, would be asking questions. Beats the heck out of wondering.
  8. janeb1958

    What do you call yourselves?

    Not long after my relationship started, there was an issue with another of his women/lovers. He told me he thinks of me as a partner, not just a lover. He's since had me added to his doctor's list of people that can call and get info, but on those forms, I'm listed as "friend," while his wife...
  9. janeb1958

    NRE (New Relationship Energy) - Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Granted I'm in my first poly relationship, but I agree with RP - with each change in the relationship, there seems to be a new NRE! We're about to hit our 6 month mark. I no longer have him on the pedistal (to which he said 'thank you') but I still get the butterflies when he calls out of the...
  10. janeb1958

    Creating the relationship you want

    Easy? Not at all! I sorta "rolled" into my journey! I was at a snuggle party. About 16 of us were spooning on the floor -- we all decided to roll over. I was slower & this awesome guy rolled over -- it was love at first site for me. I haven't regreted a moment but it hasn't been easy. But...
  11. janeb1958

    Makeup Sex

    For me, make up sex is AFTER everything has been resolved -- it's a good thing - to help heal the bond between us - to make us whole again!
  12. janeb1958

    Hello

    Welcome Joshua! Glad to see someone else from SoCal here!! I find your suggestion pretty awesome -- to me, this means you're already living with compersion in your heart! Good for you!
  13. janeb1958

    Redpepper's journey

    Now THIS sounds like a great group! :) I thought casual sex, sex for sex's sake, was swinging. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but it's different than poly. I've always heard/read that poly, if sex was involved, was with someone where there is a heart connection, where love...
  14. janeb1958

    New member with a problem

    I can only agree with everyone here. I'm new to actually being in a poly relationship, but have been learning about it for years. The one thing I love about it is all parties being transparent, and the love involved. I'm sorry, hun, but I don't see any of this from your husband. I agree with...
  15. janeb1958

    Intro to me

    Welcome! I'm pretty new here, too...but also new to the poly world. Have fuN!~!!
  16. janeb1958

    Redpepper's journey

    You're very welcome!! Sounds wonderful, RP! :D:D:D I'm very happy for all involved. Change can be a great thing! I have this 2 days a week. I love being with my love and his wife. When I'm there, he's with me in the guest room. She and I have become friends. I help out while they're at...
  17. janeb1958

    It's Always Complicated

    I'm sorry you're going through this, but I must agree with the others. It does sound like she's playing games with you -- something no one has the right to do. I don't see how she can call this "poly" when she TELLS you that you cannot have any other relationships?????? It would be one thing...
  18. janeb1958

    Redpepper's journey

    Thank you I just wanted to say thank you for sharing all this with us. I can see/feel the pain and joy in everyone involved. Being new to the poly world, this also helps me to realize it's not just me! There is so much to learn. But with each relationship, the dynamics are so different. There...
  19. janeb1958

    Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

    You're very welcome, GS! You'll learn from me. I prefer to share the good stuff. I try to always find the good stuff! Even in the bad, there is good. An opportunity for growth is always good. But this is HUGE for me. I've never really been a jealous person, but this is my first poly...
  20. janeb1958

    Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

    Thanks! I'm learning that!
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