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NYCindie-- Yes, I have no interest in outing anyone. Ali-- Yes, I think it sucks to be using the police in this matter, and so do they. They take the domestic violence possibility very seriously, as they should. I have no problem with it from that perspective. I don't like the manipulation...

defamation NYcindie- It isn't defamation, at least not in my eyes. But that's Cinder, bending the world to better fit her version of reality. Using the Police as a big stick when she has no control of the situation. To me, she is turning into a dangerous sociopath. Or always was borderline and...

the last word So I just got off the phone with a local RCMP constable. Seems Cinder called them complaining of me harassing her, defaming her. She doesn’t like me telling my story here, doesn’t like my version of the truth. So now she is threating me with the police. Again. She doesn’t want me...

two steps My weekend was pretty great. Had a lovely visit with Mz. Black, after not having seen her for over a month. Seems like that is who we will be to each other, long distance adult friends who have a solid deep connection. Friends who are physical, who sleep together. It’s a nice...

rants and rage I am amazed at where my life is at compared to a year ago. I never imagined I would be in this place. Change can be good, especially in the face of so much adversity. It can also be nerve wracking and stressful, with still so much uncertainty. But life keeps revealing itself...

Picking up the pieces I was destroyed by Cinder’s moves against me. How can someone who purports to be this being of light and love, of constantly striving to grow and change and be the best possible version of herself, come at me like this, without dialogue, or warning, or even the slightest...

Cherry blossoms Phy, I can't either. I had to take a break from posting because I was filled with the living dread of the memories. All the memories. But, I am strong, and resilient. I can bend. It's hard when someone seems so hell bent on complete domination. By any means necessary...

I am elemental and I approve of this blog ;) xo

Inspiration Just want to call attention to the good work you do and the success stories you bring to this forum, and that it is a great example of how Poly does work, and work well. Thanks for sharing and creating a positive example, it is what I am creating and working towards. Much respect.

It's sad but... Sure, it's been a tough slog, and bad shit has happened. But I want to emphasise the good that can come out of situations like this. Opportunities to know oneself better. Deconstructing dysfunction. Finding out the mettle of one's character. A lot of good has come out of this...

life what we make it I'm not on here to doom polyamory. It does work, and wonderfully. Most of my problems with Cinder stem from personality traits that exist all the time in any relationship. I look forward to being in relationships with others that have the same good intentions as I. We don't...

Blackness When I turned down Cinder’s desire for reconciliation, I must have hurt her deeply. Rejection by a partner is, for Cinder, one of her biggest fears. She opens herself to the world, and when things don’t go as she expects or wants, especially in love, it would crush her. So I can only...

In the wilderness I was out on my own, living in a room in a townhouse with a stranger with the clothes on my back. I was numb from the anti-depressants. I spent the first few days staring at the ceiling, and then formulated a plan. I’m not one to just wallow in the mire, even if I feel the...

Eye of the Hurricane Things were pretty dire between Cinder and me. She saw my reaching out to Raven as a direct affront to our marriage. She had threatened so many times that one more transgression, and that was it. She waved the divorce flag in my face a lot throughout our marriage, always a...

Today What's up, Whathappend? Thanks for your post. Yeah, he will have to open his eyes, or have them opened. Or maybe he will just bury his head and let her control him. Some people go for that. It takes inner strength to open your eyes to an abusive relationship. I hate the concept that...

Storm warning Chiquita was a young woman, early thirties, who was bi-curious, and this experience was her birthday present to herself. She is stunningly pretty, and of very sweet and reserved character. Underneath all of that is a strong fortitude and sweetness that is so very attractive. She...

Calm before the storm Here I sit amongst the bags and boxes that are the remnants of my life, moving for the 5th time in a calendar year. I don’t like moving, the destabilizing aspects, the uprooting and sorting of the little things that get stuffed in drawers. I have surprisingly little, in...

Spyware I texted Raven, to apologise for Cinder, and commiserate at the impossibility of the situation. To relay my humiliation. To ultimately say goodbye on my own terms, because I was committed to Cinder in all her flailing humanity and I accepted her for who she was, flaws and all. Over a...

currents InfinitePossibility, thank you and much respect. I appreciate the type of poly you are living and representing on here. RiverRose, thanks for your words. It seems there are all kinds of reasons for people to want to emotionally manipulate and control, even subtle things. Maybe I will...

beginning of the end So, here we go again. In hindsight, it was the beginning of the end. It was the death of my ideals around my relationship with Cinder, the things that transpired over the next 6 months. It was one of the hardest and most draining times of my life, and I have been through...