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here and now Thanks, everyone, for the kind words and support. It is a very challenging time, for sure, in the present, and reliving it here has brought up a lot of the old hurt. But my effort is to do it one last time, get it out of me and into the public record, if only in an anonymous sense...

Third time's the charm Cinder ended up breaking it off with the married man. He had no time for her. She started up with another fella she met while we were at a poly meet-up with Lily. He kept staring at us/her the whole night, and as he left, she ran out to give him her number. She was...

Lily Thanks, Arrow. I like your posts on here. Respect. When I returned home, I could see the relief and desperation in Cinder's eyes. It was too much too soon. Cinder is an emotional woman and despite her best intentions, couldn’t deal with the emotional load of having me away with Raven. It...

Second coming Thanks, Bella, for the kind words. xo Cinder and I worked through our first break-up with Raven. Cinder was very relieved to have her out of our life, and I was relieved to have some emotional normalcy return. I think seeing me choose our marriage over my relationship with Raven...

Fast Forward I need to take a break here from retelling the past, and be in the present. Recounting these events, even just the very beginning of the breakdown of our marriage has been hard on me, bringing up stuff. I go for long walks with my trusty companion Tomo, in the forest, and along...

Triad So we began seeing each other as a triad, not just a sex threesome. Raven spent more time with us, staying over weekends. The three of us did lots of fun activities, and we started to be ‘out’ in public. There were still lots of agreed-upon rules, and certainly no independent sex or dates...

Raven Raven had answered Cinder's ad on CL looking for a third. She was a student at a major university in a nearby big city. She said that our ad was the best one in WM4W. That was due to Cinder’s talent at writing. She has a flowy prose and a way with words, very sensuous. So we made a date...

threesomes So we got married. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt like we could really put aside our differences and be each other’s people, accept each other and support each other through anything. It was a great time, and we were in love and now committed to each other...

Early times Or was it? When I look back, there were flags from the start. Cider and I are both kind of alpha, and we butted heads some. We both have strong personalities which lead us to conflict, a lot. I also had anger-management issues which would lead me to be in a heightened state of...

Cinder The main player in this Blog, at least in the early stages, is my soon to be ex-wife, Cinder. I’ll call her Cinder because she is small, and bright. She is hot and can start fires. She certainly did in me, one that has left a large hole burned out of my soul. In a lot of ways she has...

Hi there. I am Elemental. 44yr old male, straight, recently separated, getting divorced in June. I live in a small cottage community next to a beautiful lake, just outside of a smallish city in the Pacific Northwest. I’ve been in traditional & non-traditional relationships for the past 25 years...

Double dose of reality today. Our triad is over AND my personal relationship with Nell is untenable for CBG, so that needs to be over as well. We have lost the dream of the poly-fi triad and I have lost a friend and a lover. It seems CBG wants a total break, no communication whatsoever. What...

NYCindie, I struggle with the definitions of primary and secondary. Like, logically I can understand the concept. But practically it is difficult for me. Love is love in my heart. I can understand CBG wanting me to think of her needs first in all situations. Maybe that’s where I stumble...

Some pretty hard realizations hit me this morning. This part should be called the “addict confessional." I am really struggling with the realization that a lot of my behavioral patterns are built up from my addictive nature, that all the signs along the way have shown me that I was backsliding...

What preceded the event? Hmm... Things were moving along swiftly. Nell was staying over and bed -sharing for days at a time. CBG would get up and go to work, leaving us to snuggle in bed until we got up. I think part of it was an extension of that, as well as our strong sexual/sensual...

The cowboy reference also comes into play because CBG told me she felt like I was stealing Nell away from her :mad:

Whoa, lots of hostility! I earlier tried to post a reply, see that it hasn't come up yet, as to be approved by a moderator? Huh. Well I can see that you have been following CBG's side of events. But, as usual, there are more sides to this story, ones that I will save until I talk to her first...

Ok just “cheater”- cheater confessional. Shit I don’t like that, don’t see myself as totally selfish, a people user and cheater… I do see the addition behavior though from my past, that obsessive compulsion to want more, immediately, that helps to see that, to see myself in a triggered state...

Thanks everyone for the responses. Just checking in on the thread before I go into more detail. I really like this forum and the posters' insights. I read it a lot to get perspective. I know everyone has an opinion. I look forward to adding mine to the mix. Yeah, I am CherryBlossom's hubbo...

I’m a cowboy. I push boundaries to breaking points. I have cheated in all my previous long-term relationships under the guise of “polyamory." I have selfish tendencies around relationships and sex. I am very sexual, have a strong sexuality, love to experiment. I was a late bloomer sexually...