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  1. ramfish

    Missing Normal...Struggling, Loving and Learning

    Don't feel too bad about missing normal, mono. I've never been normal and I miss it; even more when things are hardest.
  2. ramfish

    My new Ai-jin

    Thanks for the insight, GS, but unfortunately these last two days things have not gone so well for me. I have been inwardly battling with myself for a while about whether or not I actually was falling in love with J-kun. I've been writing it off as a kind of crush thing, trying to take things...
  3. ramfish

    My new Ai-jin

    Things have been going pretty well, but I've been so busy I haven't really had much time to reflect. Last night J-kun took me to a campus jazz/dance event they hold once a month. I got all dressed up nice and we danced as much as we could. The music left a lot to be desired...but we had a lot...
  4. ramfish

    My new Ai-jin

    Excellent weekend. Saturday night my husband and I went over to J-kun's, watched movies all night, and had a fantastic time. In no way have I been feeling that the two of them needed to be friends, but I knew that they would get along just fine. My husband has been wanting to spend time with...
  5. ramfish

    Reasonable or control freak?

    Life can get pretty crazy, and trying to impose a curfew on adults does feel a little demeaning. You might want to just have this conversation with her, letting her know that you would like to see her every night, but you can't treat it like a mandatory checking-in sort of thing. It should be...
  6. ramfish

    The one thing that's been really bothering me

    I need some feedback on a situation that has been going on with my bf J-kun and the girl in our class he was casually having relations with. He has not yet told her that he is no longer interested in her in "that way." She's an okay girl, even if she is young and inexperienced. However, J-kun's...
  7. ramfish

    My new Ai-jin

    I got to spend Tuesday night with J-kun. It was a lot of fun. We spent the night playing video games and watching TV, the perfect night for me, really. Since I talked to him last week about my neurosis I have been feeling a lot better about being able to just talk to him. Yesterday I got to...
  8. ramfish

    Role Playing Games

    O.o my internship three years ago was with Norseman Game for work on the Realm. People are still playing that game =p I got started on pen and paper roleplaying in college with D&D 3.0. I've also done Call of Chthulu, Rokugan, VTM, and a few others. I've been wishing we could find someone to...
  9. ramfish

    My new Ai-jin

    Tonight the husband, myself, J-kun, and A-san went to a local club for some dancing. For the most part, it was fun...but I think everyone went home disappointed. So here's the rundown. J-kun has still not told A-san he's not interested in fooling around with her anymore. My husband is...
  10. ramfish

    My new Ai-jin

    I've had a see-saw couple of days. Yesterday I spent the day with J-kun, a nice relaxing afternoon before class. My husband wanted to go to the club to try to get to know A-san better. My hubby is interested in her but she doesn't know him like at all. =p Anyway neither she nor J-kun was...
  11. ramfish

    Are we going mainstream?

    I'm currently re-reading / actually finishing this time around her book. It's a really good read and I think that a lot of what she has to say about her sexuality as a woman is pertinent to my own experiences. The last time I started it was when we had first started giving poly a try and this...
  12. ramfish

    My new Ai-jin

    Wednesday was a very /panicflail kind of day. I had planned on staying home because one of my two classes was canceled and work on the quilt I'm making for a friend's wedding. I had a good afternoon and I was happy when my hubby came home and was ready to spend a lazy evening with him. Well ...
  13. ramfish

    awesome site

    awesome icon. welcome!
  14. ramfish

    Work in progress Pt.3

    Welcome DB! I'm pretty new here too. Hang in there and take things day by day. I have to remind myself of this often. It can be a rollercoaster of emotions but when the great moments are outshining the down ones, you know it's totally worth it.
  15. ramfish

    The difference between dating and polyamory.

    Slightly off topic, but it is relevant to current twenty-somethings' viewpoints, I think... This reminds me of a conversation I had yesterday with a younger girl in one of my classes who was surprised that I got married at 23 ... she thought that was really young for someone to get married. It...
  16. ramfish

    The difference between dating and polyamory.

    I think it depends on how you date. Sure there are probably young people out there who date lots of people and claim poly, but that doesn't mean some of them aren't. When I was "dating" I never had more than one boyfriend at a time. I didn't date other people when I was with one guy. If I was...
  17. ramfish

    My new Ai-jin

    Today was my husband and my second anniversary. We spent the day together, had a really nice dinner (mmmm crab shack) and then he came to Japanese with me since we were driving together. My hubby is totally all for me spending time with J-kun and I can see that he really wants to get to know...
  18. ramfish

    not sure if this relationship is healthy

    Hmm that's a tough one. Maybe if you get a chance to talk to her alone again, you could just come out and ask her if she would be more comfortable being monogamous with him. What she needs is important too. Trying to confirm he said/she said rumors is probably not a good idea. It could lead to...
  19. ramfish

    My new Ai-jin

    I'm hoping that J-kun really does understand what exactly poly is about. It's definitely a completely different experience getting involved with someone who isn't already familiar with the lifestyle. He told me he was only afraid something would happen like I would fall in love with him and I...
  20. ramfish

    People who aren't poly/general population anxieties

    I guess mostly I'm just concerned with our mutual friends and classmates asking questions. But as I think about it more and more, I wonder why I should care what they think. The only reason I can really come up with is that I don't want to deal with any drama. However, this is a relatively...
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