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L was drinking alot and getting mean. Now I'm sad. He talked to our mutual friends. They won't talk to me. . . . He and T had foughten two nights ago now. SO MUCH TO WRITE NO TIME

I knew I missed him and loved him. But I was confused and weak. There's still so much and I have to go.

So I was pretty confused after T hurt me by sending pictures to another girl. I know he was stressed by me and B's issues, but it hurt. So I had to rely on on L for rides. It was turbulent. He'd give me rides to work and such. We had sex. I told him I was confused. I told him I had been...

I'll write more as more has happened. :( Well. gah lol

I am sorry. I didn't mean to be alarming. :( I just needed some outlet. It is pretty horrible. :(

I am 19. B is 20. T is 23. :(

So finally after some time she talked to me. She said she had to go to the bathroom. I went ahead of her and took things out that she could hurt herself with. I made her promise not to hurt herself. She promised. She went. We talked. I got her to take a bath, I sat with her in there. I...

When he laughed I said I hated him and he laughed, probably in disbelief. So I said Fuck you. I think I got to hurting him a bit because he was actually not smiling. I spoke, my voice breaking, tears falling, looking him in the eye. I said how it hurt. That he was like everyone else in my...

We got to my apartment and she asked T about the apartment idea. He liked it. i was overjoyed. We hung well for awhile. b got upset when we were playing Mario Party though. as she always does. always. He had just mentioned that he remembered something from when he and I had played alone...

I do understand. I gave up my alone time with him Saturday night. Then I had time together with us all last night. It ended badly. He had pictures from another girl on his phone. B snoops because he's cheated and she can't trust him. We were upset. So we confronted him. It went horribly...

Well.... As for all the things I had written. It doesn't matter now. It's over. Last night was the worst. I'm trying to pretend it's okay. I have to be strong for B. I bitched so much about her. I was just so frustrated. It wasn't right. I love her and she's gone through a lot and I've...

I used to want marriage and a family. Be it mono or poly. Now I sorta don't. T doesn't for sure, B used to. She said they were talking about marriage... I wish T would talk to me about things like this... That was before me though. Some days I feel like T loves me more. Today not so much...

I wish I had started this from the very beginning. So much has happened... And I'm going to forget some and remember it after the fact and have to go back. :(

I brought up to Blake that she was being unreasonable and unfair. She threatened to leave. I was pissed. She left him alone in the first place to move, out of anger. He found me. He loves me too! I'm involved too! He wants me. He wants me and her to want each other. She wants him, and wants me...

I feel like I can relate. Just a little. Tate is our male. I am bisexual. Blake is our other female. Tate and Blake live in the same town and can see each other often. I live 30 miles away. It's not too far, at all. But we're all going break even. I just got an apartment with most of my...

Entry 2 Continued. B texted. It's okay. :D Maybe I'll instead write our crappy history... :P This will be long... I have a bad time with writing posts, I usually hit a button and it'll all be erased. CROSSING MY FINGERS!!! Alright! I started work about 6 months ago (HOLY COW TIME...

Entry 2 It is 12/03/2011. It is 12:59 pm. T is on lunch... want him to see me... !!! I'm on the couch as Savannah chats at me. (My stepmom ^.^ I'll go to that in my life journal!!!) I'm tired. I try to talk back but I'm tired and she chats... A-flipping-LOT. He hasn't texted back... It's...

This shall be my journal on my love life... it shall be rough. I will use sailor language and will be simply me. I am writing to help me keep track. I care not if someone reads this. I am especially not expecting anything. Sometimes your life is easier to comprehend if you write it from...

Trying for short! Hi! My name is Marinia. I am 19. I am female. I am pansexual. I am in my first polyamorous relationship. I was in a monogamous relationship for 4 years. It was closed and committed, or so I thought. I wanted more commitment, but he didn't and there were issues. I...