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Sorry, I know this is an "old" post, and I am a newbie, an outsider. But I had to laugh and then comment about the notion that monos are a "funny bunch." Let's face it, we're all a funny bunch! If we could just embrace it, instead of picking each other apart, life would be so much better. And I...

You lay it out very nicely. This is at the heart of it, isn't it? Christie

Yeah, if I may sound like a child just for a moment "I don't wanna"!!!! Wahh!!! :D Dh has asked me why I need to have sex with them. And the truth is, I don't *need* to. It is a significant want, so much so that it feels like a need, but I can't honestly say it is a need. My first oso and...

Sage, I am not able to find these blogs via a google search. Do you have the links that you could share? Thanks!!!! Christie

No, sorry! He's not that interested in her. He admits that he would be were it not for me, but he is very much of the "either/or" mindset and if it is one of us, it is me, no question. I think *she* would be happy in many ways for me to disappear, b/c she would like to pursue a mono...

Let me clarify--I am most definitely in full-on poly mode. Were I to choose to "go back" to being mono, it would be a major sacrifice for me. One I am willing to make, but I would have to work really hard not to resent him. I would be doing this to please him and to honor his wishes...

So, an online friend proposed that poly works (he does not identify himself as poly), if it is “done well”. Well, I think I can safely say that I have “done it” quite poorly (we are about 4 months in). There have been flags along the way, that I have not given the attention they deserve...

I do see this, but I also think it is important to recognize intention and it seems clear from the OP that her intentions were good. It's a live and learn thing. I can't tell you how many times of late I've "screwed up" despite the best of intentions. This is a new situation, so I also think...

Well, I'm pretty new to polyamory myself, but I did want to comment on this point. You are absolutely right that the dynamics can vary greatly, and that communication amongst the various people is ideal. As for fair and reasonable, those are so subjective. There is absolutely nothing wrong...

I'm glad that you did. I don't like to drop convos, always aiming for mutual understanding and respect. I truly do appreciate your intent. Intent is so important. It's nice to hear that you weren't trying to insult me, and I fully admit that the state I'm in lately makes it hard not to...

Nope, sorry. I'm fine with others getting the last word as long as it doesn't accuse me of anything or involve untruths. TL4, from the beginning you made assumptions and filled in blanks without ever asking for clarification. You have now assumed that my husband only knew about Rob being...

Well, our situation falls under the consent area then. And as for caps, my apologies, but comparing me to a screaming child seems less than productive. Then again, a screaming child is trying to communicate and imnsho, it is the parents' responsibility to at least attempt to understand the...

Warning, your reply elicits a great deal of anger. I will try to keep that in check as I reply. I AM NOT CHEATING. IF YOU READ MY ENTIRE REPLY, YOU WOULD SEE THAT IT WAS MY HUSBAND WHO CAME TO ME AND CONSENTED TO US RESUMING OUR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. IN YOUR LIFE, YOU GET TO JUDGE THAT; IN...

Yes, that's it, loving someone else doesn't diminish one's love for their primary. And the reply about using people here to help you out in your time of need is a). a great one and b). evidence of what I appreciate so much about this forum. No matter what, I hope that your pain diminishes...

Oh, it most definitely is! :)

Ha, I just used that in a post to someone else. Here's the thing, I hear that this analogy doesn't work for you. For some I imagine it does. Regardless, I want you to know that I hear your pain, and totally agree with EP and Ksandra. I truly hope that your partner can help you through this.

Ah, whine. We so want a sleepover (gee I sound like my kids ;-)), and had the opportunity Friday night, but kidney stones got in the way. It will happen someday. I have to chuckle though, b/c bf has been single for so long that I think he enjoys sleeping alone even as he very much enjoys...

Oh, I absolutely love this. Gonna print it out and reference it throughout the day, in fact. Thank you!

Thanks for your input. See my earlier response to LR, I think? You may both be right, but I'm not anywhere near convinced. And lest anyone feel frustrated along the lines of "Why'd she ask if she didn't want our feedback?" understand that I value receiving feedback so that I can use my...