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I agree that the situation is less than ideal. But it's so much easier for me to see the full picture, no? I know so many more dimensions of this man than I could ever capture here. I met the guy at a psych hospital, and knew his history data points, so believe me, I went into this with my...

ITA with LR, I am always so grateful to meet someone who doesn't get it! It is one of my life's goals to do everything I can so that my children never do (recognizing that I don't hold anywhere near close to all the cards). I did not take your comment to be the least bit offensive, I just...

Sorry to be a pain, but I need support Here's the situation. I'm married to an awesome guy, who, after some initial hesitance, has become open to both of us dating/loving others. I fell in love with someone first. The thread on reassuring primaries was actually very timely. He came home...

I have to respectfully disagree. As a survivor of multiple perpetrators of sexual abuse, I spent a long time shutting myself down so that I could fulfill my husband's needs (although admittedly not well). At any rate, I went years not having the least interest in sex--or rather, having my...

Oh how this would be a dream for me. Every time I leave him, I feel a sense of sadness, not knowing when I'll see him again. I'm so glad for you, Redpepper and Nerdist, Mono. Christie

Some obstacles we are experiencing When I posted that last thread about my mother, one of the members (I forgot the screen-name, sorry) suggested that if my husband weren't totally okay with our poly relationship, then I was cheating. I must say I felt more than a little defensive, since I...

Update on mother wanting to chat Sorry for the delay (not like I thought you all were on the edge of your seats), but there's been tons going on this week. We did talk with my parents, and, all in all, it went fairly well. Ash and I had a printed list of points to discuss. It works well this...

In response to this, I asked Ash what he thought. He said: "It's a work in progress. We are working towards that. And it's complete informed consent." So I feel it is NOT cheating. To me, it's a process. I have been completely honest with him, respected any boundaries he has set (e.g., no...

Oh absolutely. I actually thought that I had! I'm quite certain that she did not see me. Under normal circumstances, I would completely agree with you that making it nbd would have been ideal. But she would have done the exact same thing if she had seen him come to the door. So we were...

So, last night, Ash was out having dinner and drinks with a local poly vee group. We agreed that it made sense for my Rob to come over, with the understanding that we didn't have sex in our house. Enter my mother. We were delusional enough to build a house behind hers. (Don't ask. Like I...

I can't speak for Rob, of course, but I believe he is afraid of losing her. Not only has Mia been an incredible emotional support, but she has been financially supporting him this last year, as he has been out of work. But mostly, I would guess it is a misguided attempt to not hurt her. He's...

An addendum that may be important-- my bf's best friend So, I forgot another big factor in our poly relationship, in addition to Ash and Rob, there is another very present member of our relationship: Rob's ex-girlfriend turned friend, Mia, is getting increasingly upset about his relationship...

Thank you, Redpepper. Always an adventure when blazing new personal trails. Although we were very confident in our love for each other, this experience has shown us that we had become somewhat complacent. We are taking the time to nurture our relationship in more ways. I'm a bit more...

Thank you for the reminder. I was well-taught how to be a people pleaser, despite the fact that you can never please everyone. I was well-trained to care what others thought, in order to figure out how to be lovable. I'm really trying to live in the now as much as possible, but old habits die...

Thanks to all for the replies. They've been quite helpful. I will reread and reply as needed this week. But for now, I wanted to respond and take EugenePoet up on his offer to PM with my husband. He expressed interest. He also said today that he has no plans to "pull the plug", but would...

Hoping for replies this time. What am I doing wrong? Posting to the forum? So, first of all, to be fair, though treated, I'm still struggling with a great deal of depression and anxiety, but I can't help but wonder why I got no replies to my OP (something like new to this forum, root of a V...

Hi all, I'm happy to have found this forum. First a little about me: I am married to an absolutely amazing man, Ash, and have three children from this primary relationship. If you had asked me six months ago, I would have said that I would *never* be unfaithful to Ash, and thought being in...