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The very first time I considered poly, though I didn't know what it was called, was when I had just started my very first relationship when I was 15. I guess I should start with the beginning with this story. Around April that year, I became friends with a boy, J, and I liked him immensely...

I don't know, that sounds like love to me. I don't think feeling "crazy" for someone is necessary at all to be in love. I've never had "butterflies in my stomach" for any of the people I've loved, because they made me feel comfortable instead of nervous. When it happened, it was just a...

What triggers jealousy for you? Although polyamorous people probably experience less jealousy (or deal with it more effectively) than monogamous people, jealousy is still very real for many poly people. It's probably different from monogamous jealousy though; I know it is for me. When trying...

This is more or less exactly what I was going to say. I'd always want them to be at least friends. If they were best friends, then that would ideal for me. But for lovers...I wouldn't be able to say.

I was actually reading an somewhat unrelated article and I found some interesting information regarding the topic. The article isn't about poly, it's about infidelity, but it's easy to draw comparisons. The entire article can be found here.

I looked this up and it doesn't seem like me at all, though I have a tendency to overreact to bad things. Thanks for the suggestions, though.

As someone with an interest in neuroscience, I know that there's a lot of things that we normally don't consider biological in nature but in fact are. But there's also a huge interaction between biology and environment. Most likely, people are wired poly-leaning or mono-leaning, but the way...

Well for me, I don't think it's a contradiction because although I may change some behaviors to please them (like wearing clothing I think they'd like more often), I would never compromise my ideals (or if you prefer, my principles) for someone. I would never lie (to myself or otherwise) to...

You're right that I should see myself in a better light. While I definitely do have low self-esteem right now (due to my issues with abandonment and poly), it hasn't always been that way...and I don't consider myself a people pleaser. In fact, one of my big problems is that I'm selfish...

I wish that was possible...but I'm not a kid anymore (regardless of how I feel), and most people want to have children before they're 30. It's something that they want and that they would expect of me...but I can't take care of a pet, much less a child. There's a very real possibility I may...

About this. This is also especially hurtful sometimes because I feel like being poly makes me unloveable. That if I was mono and I felt like I only had room in my heart for one person only, then all of them would want to date me. If I consider my love to be so great that I want to love all of...

I've been trying to. I don't have access to my university's psychologist because it's summer, but just today I ordered a self-help book about overcoming abandonment issues. It's a work in progess. I guess it feels like to me that I have to swap one set of "social behaviors" for another...

I'm not really sure, because I don't understand the concept of having a "secret girlfriend" or something like that. It feels dirty. Or maybe it's because I haven't separated "relationship" with its mono implications. I think it's because, without noticing, I actually separated...

Well, I guess the real issue is that I have abandonment issues. My parents were physically present but they never gave me much in the way of emotional support. Because of that, it hurts a lot when I love someone but they'd rather not be with me--it feels like I need them and I'm being...

I can completely identify with this. To me, there is a continuum between love and friendship, and it's a quantitative difference rather than a qualitative difference. This is confusing for me, seeing as most people believe that romantic love is "different" from frienship. I feel varying...

This is kind of similar to the other thread "I miss the perks of monogamy", but this is more of a personal vent of things I've been thinking about for a while. I feel like being poly is the only way I can live my life in a way that is honest to myself and my feelings. But it's tough...and it's...

I've wondered this myself, when faced with the harsh realities of being poly. I love people easily, and my friends are very often attracted to me too. I don't need more than one relationship at a time, I wouldn't go looking for it...but I feel like no matter what, it's just a matter of time...

Something similar happened to me. RockBird and I had been in the process of deciding whether to break up or not for over a month. Then, when it seemed we were getting back together, we had a serious discussion about the future and he told me that even though he was okay with a limited form of...

I'm a very touchy person, it's my main love language. I don't know what I'd do if someone I was dating didn't like being touched. :eek: I'd feel lonely and rejected. In fact, it might never get to that point at all if I was constantly refused physical contact.

Me, I don't think I'd like it if my boyfriend decided to shave down there. Completely shaved is just so... pre-pubescent. It's a bit creepy. He trims though, and I appreciate that.