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So, how about not talking about each other and your relationships to other partners? While I definitely don't do DADT, I also don't have any interest in hearing details about my partner's relationships with their metas beyond whatever impacts me (scheduling, etc.). Aside from "my husband/wife...

MissM, I am sorry it ended the way it did. It's so odd to me when people demand exclusivity from their partners when 1) they, themselves, are dating more than one person and 2) when they've been dating for such a short time (I mean, monogamous relationships rarely start as "exclusive" that...

*hugs* I am so, so sorry for your loss, vinsanity. My heart and thoughts are with you. Hon, right now, you do not owe your other partners anything in the way of explanation of what Cat means to you. Take a step back, and allow yourself to heal. It's easy to second-guess yourself, but you...

You say, earlier, that they're in a relationship, but now that they are "more cohabiting." Is he aware that they're not in a relationship? Because if she hasn't told him they're not, then they still are, and she's still cheating. And, if he's abusive, doesn't that sound like an even worse idea...

I also agree with FallenAngelina's post! It takes some thought, but hopefully the OP will get it. I'm reading that they didn't do much in the way of healing and rebuilding trust for a few reasons: 1) that the OP still feels like she just has to accept things and gets flack if she doesn't, 2)...

IMHO, this changes things pretty substantially. You weren't unicorn hunting, my mistake (not that some of that doesn't apply to how things progress, if you want it to, but it's not really what you guys need to be focusing on). 1. Poly from cheating almost never works. I've seen two cases of it...

Even though she is very bisexual, that doesn't mean you and she will have the same type of connection she and your husband do. In fact, that is really unlikely. Relationships aren't the same, and expecting the attractions to be the same is unrealistic and a recipe for failure. You and she may...

*so many hugs* I am so sorry. For what it is worth, and I know it doesn't help, but I think you did the right thing in advocating for your needs and not accepting her "offer" (which wasn't really much of a compromise, frankly).

Aside from the already-good posts by FallenAngelina and Kevin: 1. If he's the kind of guy who rates women by how "young and hot" they are, why in the world are you with him? I mean, I get enjoying and being attracted to people who are physically attractive, but if he's so shallow that those are...

One thing you should start doing immediately, if you care for Rae, is to start helping her find a place of HER OWN, not with you and Dani. Help Rae get back on her feet, with a roommate, etc. You and she will never get alone time, really, with Dani never leaving home. You're also creating a...

Having read your other thread, it's pretty safe to say that "couple privilege" is definitely a thing. Dani is getting to dictate that you spend alone time with her, but not with your mutual GF. That is couple privilege. People do not form intimate bonds with groups or pairs, they form them with...

I actually would like to see the government out of the business of giving preference to married vs. unmarried citizens. I agree it's incredibly discriminatory, and an incentive-based system for procreation, given the tax on our available natural resources, is not only unnecessary, but probably...

This actually isn't true. My nesting partner and I have a very clear division of assets, laid our in both a pre- and post-nuptial agreement. If we had other lovers who were financially contributing, that could be an issue because of common assets laws in various states; but, as it stands, it's...

Welcome! Wow, this must be quite a whirlwind for you and your husband. There's a lot to unpack here, and many posters have done a great job getting that started. Some other things to think about: -There is a power dynamic at play here that is touchy in terms of ethics. You imply her financial...

I think that, in the US, we'll see a very large drop in rates of marriage if we ever get decent national health care. It is the primary reason my nesting partner and I signed the paperwork. I have a medical condition that is easily managed, but without insurance it's excessively expensive (with...

I don't think any of our intentions is to drive a wedge, but it is relevant to point out manipulation techniques when they're being used. And, saying someone's preference for monogamy is immature and they need to grow up and accept that being mature means poly is definitely a manipulation...

I'm going to say that, in all likelihood, this isn't going to end well for you. It almost never does for the "third," and this has pretty much every red flag going up. You should read this, and have them read it: So Someone Called You a Unicorn Hunter. Even though they may not have gone out...

Along with many excellent post by GalaGirl, Spork, and others, OP, you very much need to read this. Your husband is using all the classic tactics of a master manipulator. Going along with it isn't going to end well for you. I am so sorry you deal with this. *hugs*

You could start by not trying to "add" someone to your relationship like a condiment on a burger. That's not how things work. Then, ask yourself why you think you are owed this type of relationship? Did you get impatient when you couldn't "add" a husband to your life? Why is this any different...

The main criticisms you've received are incredibly valid ones: 1. What your posts say you're looking for (someone for him to "play with") is not really appropriate to a poly board. That's not about anything other than it being off-topic for the stated purpose of this board, which isn't...