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That's what I want more than anything! To be honest though, it's going to take a long time. I am working on a lot of things that I need to do better, but she did hide the relationship, lie to me about it, and after being confronted their conversation turned to how they could continue talking...

Exactly...the hard part will be making them....

So....just got back from the counselor. She said it seemed like I was doing the right things. Told me that I need to have friends outside the marriage, even though I don't think I do. I think her point was that it isn't fair to my wife to make her responsible for 100% of my emotional needs...

Thanks once again for the replies, specifically the recommendations on what I can actually do to make this better. Honestly, you're reassuring me that the things I am doing are right. We had another couple who has a baby over last week for a visit (my wife had got together with her but we had...

Thanks again for the support. I know I'm just grasping at straws a little bit here.... Good point about the counselor, but the context was more like she told me stop obsessing cause it didn't help at all and was just driving my wife to the other guy at this point. I just needed to focus on...

Thanks for the sympathy.... Yeah, I feel like crap for snooping but that's the only way I had enough background to talk to my wife. I haven't snooped AT ALL in a week which has been really tough. My wife tells me she is "doing what I asked" (not talking to him). I don't know if I believe...

Hi, I am a monogomist, been married for 5 years, dating/engaged 3 years before that. I have no desire to have a relationship with anyone other than my wife (of course I do fantasize, but in terms of relationship, I don't want anyone other than my wife). Over the past few weeks I became aware...