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So, for those who said "0-3 months" or "Other," how certain are you of the size of the group of people to whom you are concurrently exposed? How many people are in that group? If the group became larger, how would you be notified? Does anyone in the group have unprotected anal sex? Or are...

That's great. I value your sharing your approach to this issue. I'm starting to regret offering "other" as one of the responses in the poll, though. What do you think would be a rough estimate of how long it takes for your criteria, especially 1 & 4, to be satisfied?

I guess. The "other" things included her fucking me in the ass with a strap-on, so I don't know how anachronistic we are...

I agree with your observations about gender (& monogamy), but I still conjecture that closure to unprotected sex outside a fixed group is easier to maintain if there are no dangling ends. Pure conjecture, mind you. If the dangling ends are female or perfectly happy being mono, maybe you're...

BTW if anyone is interested, I did get some Viagra, but we actually never ended up using it. We kept doing "other" things, and after about three months, we finally had vaginal sex. :D I guess it takes me some time. Still no effing orgasm, though. :mad:

Yeah, I realized that like two seconds after my post. Oh well. If you have a strongly-connected multi-person primary relationship like a triad, you might have a similar arrangement that you only have unprotected sex with those in the triad. But I don't see the same agreement in a vee holding...

I agree that the question is most applicable to someone with existing fluid-bonded partners (and I suppose shaped somewhat by my circumstances) but I think the "Never - only with primary" answer could still apply to someone who does not currently have a "primary" partner but would only consider...

I'm sort of curious at what point into a new relationship would you consider fluid bonding with a partner who has other partners? Assume the circumstances are good: your partner is trustworthy, pregnancy is not an issue, you know the person's other partner(s), and anyone with whom they are...

Hey Lariel, I wanted to say I can really identify with what you've said. I've recently determined that I have dysthymia, as well. The conflict between a desire to be with my wife forever and the foreboding sense that I could not live with the expectations of lifetime monogamy weighed on me...

Good point. Up 'till now I'd just been hoping it wouldn't happen the next time, but I guess I can give that up. Also, I'd thought it would be better received after demonstrating that we could have fun without intercourse. But I guess I could communicate that with words prior to actions. I...

Right? Although, while I'm not bothered yet, I'm sure it will bother me eventually if it doesn't abate.

Thanks for sharing, onoma! It looks like our experiences are definitely similar in spirit, if possibly different in focus. The way you describe your fear resonates with me. By the way you describe your "doubt," I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess you have OCD. I don't think I'm...

Clever. Yeah, I'd like that, but because I've only seen her twice and there isn't much time, it's probably best to play it cool and not make a thing about it. I think as long as I keep a mindset of "this is her housewarming party and I happen to be at it" rather than "I'm at her party" then I...

I agree with every word of what you wrote, Pretzels. I can only be chill by putting on an affectation of being chill, tho, because I'm generally a nervous wreck. :o

I've had two great dates with a woman I met online. First was tea and a gallery walk, and second was an epic twelve hours with fun activities, super-intimate conversation, snuggling and sex. I'm really smitten with her, so I sent her a card with a print she liked from the gallery and let her...

It certainly doesn't help, but the way it's been going it wouldn't matter either way.

This is my current thinking.

I do every day. :cool:

Thanks, dingedheart. You're funny. Yeah, as an INTJ, my head usually dominates, but when my heart is stirred in the slightest, I go nuts. Life without a little temporary insanity is boring, though. Thanks for sharing your story, Magdlyn. It's interesting because I actually did get hard...

BTW if the quotes are making no sense to newcomers, I had my username changed for privacy...