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Amen. My quota is all used up by work. I am exceedingly patient with mood and anxiety disorders outside of work (provided people are, you know, TRYING to get some help... I have one friend who, I swear to god, LIKES being depressed, because he sure likes to whine but doesn't ever DO anything...

Therapist here. There's no winning even if they do get help. BPDs are the worst patients. >.> 100% agree with everything MusicalRose said.

Hmm... Hello, fellow redditor. ;)

I like it. =)

Yes, this. I am also advocating for myself, as well as I know how; sometimes I don't realize I have a need until it appears as a raw spot (such as, them fixing their stuff via sex made me realize that we didn't and I would have really liked to), and sometimes I delay my needs because someone...

Thank you for saying this. Snipping it for the emergency quote file. ;)

@Lovescribe - Ah, that makes sense. Yeah, I wouldn't have calmed down. I would have gotten more worked up. I very much need to prepare for things. Like, that night he said he'd be home by "6 or 7." I have to ignore the "6 or" part because I know he won't actually be home until 7, but if I take...

That's interesting. That used to be my response when he'd ask for something I really wasn't comfortable with... and then instead of coming home to a slightly irritated wife, he'd come home to a train wreck of sobbing and rage. We did not feel this was a superior result (lol) so one of the things...

A minor setback this weekend... the plan was for the Captain and Jenga to have their date Sunday afternoon, and he'd be home by 7, then we'd all go out for dinner. They didn't manage their time well so by the time they got back to her place they didn't really have enough time for sex. He texted...

Lovescribe, thank you for your thoughts. You're right, I am coming to terms with this fear and beginning to disassociate from it as it has no place in my life. I think being able to view it as a separate entity helps me to see it as an intruder, something I can choose to remove, rather than...

If you're interested, the start is here. TL;DR: After 4 years of stalling, we're giving real poly a try. DH (let's call him Captain) and I, after much further discussion, decided this was something we were comfortable trying. And so I met his interest (let's call her Jenga) for drinks, and we...

Oh, no, don't get me wrong... We're amenable to whatever makes people comfortable, we're just not going to decide (for instance) if so-and-so is appropriately honoring their commitments. We just don't feel like it's our place to make that call for someone else - but we'd be happy to assist them...

Thank you! Yes, I've requested to meet her and she's amenable. And we could manage periodic trips to see OSOs if need be... He assumes that will be that, but I certainly don't and would plan accordingly. I think years ago, I agreed to inequal terms under the assumption (from both of us) that as...

I would be fine with him returning to visit her periodically, though he says she is also apparently moving in a few months (to another state) and he seems to think that will be the end of that. I gently pointed out that it hasn't stopped me yet ;) but if he wanted to continue seeing her I'd be...

Wow, what a response! Let me try to address the varied components. =) Basically, yes. I was prepared for this eventuality. Yes, that is quite likely the crux of my issue here. I suppose I could deal with face-to-face pankyless crushes much like he deals with long-distance pankyless...

This is pretty much exactly what he said when we discussed it - that he was coming to understand what I meant when I said that loving someone else didn't make me love him any differently or any less. For this reason, primarily, he's entertaining the idea of loosening my restrictions. (Although I...

I will try to keep this short! =) Over the last four years, hubby and I have dabbled (barely) in an open relationship. Basically: he is 95% mono, and I lean more poly (though am essentially untried). He had never had a sexual partner before me, and I didn't want him to feel like he'd "missed...