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I so appreciate your help in clarifying this! I meant those members new to poly relationships, as my girlfriend and I are. It's very helpful to know that it's okay to ask questions of only a certain segment of the members in the same position as ourselves. That is so true, and beautifully...

I can only offer you the advice I have been given on another forum, one dealing with being children of hoarders. In dysfunctional families, it is common for one person to be, as you said, the scapegoat. This can permit the other members to shove their misery off onto you, and thus avoid the...

In Five Years I think my ideal relationship would be one where my current girlfriend and I are able to enjoy a loving friendship with a kind and funny man who shared common interests. That whole "opposites attract" theory has never worked well for me. My girlfriend and I share so many interests...

I apologize for bothering the moderators, but I was wondering if I had made a mistake in posting a new thread into the general discussions area, when I should have simply posted onto an existing thread? The title was "desired destinations". Thank you, Student of Life

Thank you for the links, nycindie. While my goal was to get a conversation going with newer members, I was under the impression that the general discussion section was open to any and all members, new or established, to use freely. I wouldn't have thought that limiting the discussion in any...

Hi, I'm sorry to hear things are so complicated. For what it's worth, I'd suggest that within the framework of what it appropriate for you to say, consider being a gentle advocate for the baby. I know none of this is under your control, but if the pregnancy does result in a child, that child...

Brainfruit Your question reminded me of something Pidgie and I were talking about a few days ago. She commented that she felt good about my wanting to date a man, because there was no element of comparison or competition immediately apparent for her. She clearly can't be a man, and so she just...

Long distance Long distance relationships are always trickier, in my experience. Travel never seems to get cheaper, nor time more plentiful. I really hope that your goals come true for the three of you. And kudos to you for trying for a master's degree, that is a truly impressive goal!:)

Excellent points Thanks for your response, AnnabelMore, First let me say I'm knee-deep in your blog right now, and loving it. You are such a gifted writer!!:) You bring up some great points, so allow me to clarify. The Pidge and I have talked about just those subjects. So far what we've...

What do I want? I started trying to imagine my ideal pen relationship. I so don't want it to sound foolish, and unrealistic, and yet....why can't I dream a little? Enjoy the journey, and look forward to what good things might come, before reality brings me back to earth. As Pidge and I have...

Agh! A double post. How awkward. :-(

The top of the fridge That sounds like a great plan. I love classical guitar. Your beautiful Spanish women sound like a great place to start. Can I ask how long you've been pondering an ethically open relationship model for yourself? You may have already posted this elsewhere, I'm sorry if I'm...

My hero The Pidge says she is totally fine with my man-cravings. I considered myself straight when I met her. She converted me, got her free toaster, and says she has no problem with my still wanting what I had for 30 years before I met her. My man cravings really weren't just a phase. :) Big...

I’ve been thinking lately about the desired destination for myself and The Pidge. Why we have chosen to explore polyamory as a desired state for our relationship, what we hope to gain from it, and how we go about implementing it. We’re aware that without the input of our eventual third person...

Hi Numina, I have been reading your blog. I am so new to this that I don't have any practical advice but I just wanted to say that I feel for you. Your life has been so difficult since this all started, and as I read along, all I could think of was how hard you tried for so little return. I...

Awesome start!! Hi, Just wanted to say I'm reading, and looking forward to part two. Also, I am sorry to hear that what should have been a positive experience for you was stolen and ruined. Sexual assault is all too common, and my heart goes out to you for what you went through. Keep writing!:)

Yay!! Happy times and the farmers market too!!!! Yay!!

This! This! Now you have put something into words for me!;) Part of having someone break your heart is the resentment, and anger toward them. That is very likely the chunk of the equation we are trying (in vain) to remove from the equation. Perhaps to us cold feels safer than angry or in...

This!

Hi kclynn I wanted to say thank you for your response, and your kind words. It would be great to talk with other people who are struggling a bit with the process of getting our skills to grow.:) I think I need to really look at how unproductive my old patterns are. In terms of dead horses, I...