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Sweetie - you are definitely not off base, and I've wondered most of what you suggested myself. I do think it's possible that part of me may have been trying to demonstrate I don't deserve their love. My best friend put it very succinctly: "You're nosy and insecure." That combo is what led to...

My husband and I talked. He was concerned and surprised because this was behavior very atypical for me. He was also hurt and betrayed. But he doesn't want out of our marriage. We were talking about where to go from here, and I said that I could leave, we could accept that we both made mistakes...

Thanks. I am very good at self-loathing, and feel so awful right now. I can't believe I did this to him, to either of them... I feel emotionally torn to shreds. I hate hurting them. I hate letting him down.

All of my insecurites came to a head last week and I read personal conversations between my husband and our girlfriend. I violated their trust and betrayed them both. She figured it out and confronted me, b ut had already decided she wasn't mad - as long as I admitted what I'd done. I did...

I very much agree with this perspective. For example, G & K are good at strategy games. I am not. It's frustrating to play them, and I feel stupid. So, this is something they share that I am not really a part of... same with jigsaw puzzles. I hate them with a passion. He had her read The...

Ceoli, I'm sorry for your hurt. I was pulling for you. You are right that you were treated poorly. I can't imagine doing that to K. She deserves too much, even more than I can give her... but your story definitely makes me appreciate that she has far more to lose than we do - though we have a...

I've always loved that poem. The anguish she feels is as evident as yours. I know you don't want to hurt either of them, but I know you long for them both. Good luck. I hope your fiance will hear you out and give you the chance to say what you need to.

Mono is right. Particularly because this concept is starting with you, and neither of your partners had expected a poly relationship, you will undoubtedly have more work in terms of making sure they both feel their needs are met and that you don't favor one over the other. The balance will be...

I think that you are right to consider you may have to move on from both of them. If you cannot choose, and they are not happy with being in a poly relationship, then it will be miserable for everyone involved to stay. I know you can love two people. I never thought so before, but like you...

I relate a lot to what OneSoul described. I am definitely dealing with a LOT of stuff from my childhood that our triad has sort of resurfaced for me. However, I am dealing with it. I don't expect them to solve it for me. I don't expect them to have the answers, though of course, if they have...

Sea, Nearly 8 years before we met our GF, I would get a tattoo that would later become very symbolic in our relationship. It's a Celtic knot sometimes called a Trinity Knot (because it was used in the conversion process when Christianity first spread amongst the Celts), but also called a...

My (our) story I am Kari. My husband and I have a girlfriend. Neither of them read or post on this forum, as this is where I go to sort through things, and they understand and respect this. Here are the basics about us. T and I have been together since 1999. Our first year was extremely...

I so understand feeling like you need to talk to someone who isn't involved in it. Prior to entering our triad almost seven months ago, I told my husband any thought I wanted to without hesitation. Now, there are times when it's absolutely necessary for me to pull back and think things through...

I agree with you on that. There are a lot of issues I have unresolved and never realized because my relationship was all about Dan and me. With Delia in the picture, all those insecurities resurfaced. I have no regrets, but I would definitely caution anyone I know that it is NOT always easy...

I am verbose. *sigh*

When Dan and I began to explore our sexual fantasies in a virtual world, one of them was a threesome, which I'd sort of been part of several times (I mostly watched, with limited participation), but he never really had any interest in. We did it once, and remarkably, I wasn't jealous. Then we...

Hi Jerry, Do you have any interest in pursuing other relationships? Just curious, because a little NRE of your own might help ease your feelings about her boyfriend. I am in an equilateral triad, where we are all involved sexually and romantically. However, I still, to a limited extent...

Silver - Thanks for the thoughts. When he and I had alone time on Friday, I told him much of these thoughts. Well, he didn't much care for my chocolate analogy, so who knows if it will have any impact on him. We fooled around... but instead of sex, I decided to, uhm... go down on him. *blush*...

LOL. I started off with a chocolate analogy, so a pizza analogy seems just fine. Except it's made me want pizza, and good pizza is hard to come by now that I no longer live in NYC or New Jersey. :p And you've hit just the crux of my problem. I am generally honest to a fault (something that was...

"Part of me wants to tell this guy to grow up. He does not HAVE to roll over and start snoring right after blowing a load. Sorry to be crude, but that's what it SOUNDS like. I know you're going to write a long reply clarifying about how affectionate and shit he is after finishing, etc. etc. That...