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That to me is what being ethical is all about, making those difficult choices between bad and worse, and being strong enough to stand behind your choice. not saying gay marriage is bad, just that it's always about a choice between one kind of hurt to one group and another kind of hurt to...

congrats z.

This attitude is how I've always tried to live my life with respect to sexual partners. Whether it is monogamous or not should not matter. If you are not willing to discuss, and take responsibility for these issues then you are not really ready for sex at all, IMHO.

I'm actually not very fond of any of them, I can only imagine one of Nick Frost's (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead) characters using frubbly. I kind of want there to be something that sounds like grown-ups would use the word, but sounds more like a word and less like a typo than compersion. So...

I think it sounds like you would be fine with it, it sounds like he and his wife would be. I don't see a problem. Make sure you make it clear to him that you are and imagine you always will be mono. Make sure he understands what you expect of him in the relationship, and that if some other...

I'm not talking about the concept, it is a great concept, it's the word itself. I hate it. It doesn't flow off the tounge very well, it's kinda ugly and I just can't stand the look/sound of it. The adjective frubbly and the noun frubbles are slightly better, but perhaps too informal in some...

Why do you seem to assume that if someone is Bi they can't also be mono? I think it is quite possible to have an interest in both male and female (or even trans and gender-queer too) and still only want one partner.

This is interesting, can you explain a little more about what you mean?

You can add me to that list too. It's really difficult not knowing for certain what you really want or how to get there from where you are now. :(

I think lying or hiding something like that from your partner is damaging. I suppose that should have been mentioned in my previous post under signs it might be an emotional affair: You lie about or hide details of the relationship with that person from your partner. I didn't think that needed...

I can't say what it is in the poly community, but the general jist of it as I have been able to ascertain, is that an emotional affair is: When you develop a very tight emotional bond with another person whom you find attractive in some way, usually it is only considered an affair once it hits...

Star Trek

IsntLifeFun, that was a wonderful story. Thank you.

Believe me that discussion is coming. I'm not THAT hesitant to bring it up. When I say re-opening the discussion, I do mean that. It's something we've discussed, but the discussion has been "on hold" I guess for a while, but it does have to be brought up again. I may be concerned about how best...

I actually have had that book out from the libarary a few days already. I'm about 1/2 way through it, and frankly, while it is full of good advice, I find it concentrates on sex far more than I feel is helpful in a book such as this. Reading it feels like a conversation with a person obsessed...

Thanks everyone, especially RunawayJim. [From here on this post is mainly just stream of consciousness... me thinking aloud on the forum.] My situation is especially complicated by my wife's absence. She is home next week for the rest of the month, and I've taken as much vacation time as I can...

I can second that. Having been apart from my wife for several months straight, skype is a godsend. Even skype can be a source of misunderstanding with it's strange time lags now and then, but the clear voice and even pixelly video is a lot better than e-mail or international telephone lines.

:( sounds too familiar. Though for me it's not women, just one woman. ...but I am the sort that aways prefers to have a small number of very close friends rather than lots of friends that I only share one interest with. So true. Fear of commitment is fear of truly sharing everything with...

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I have been reading about Polyamory and wondering for close to 15 years if it could ever be something I'd be happy in. Back then when i first learned of it's existence I was a "clean slate" as it were, never dated, never had any romantic attachment to anyone beyond a crush. In my early 20s I...