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For what it's worth, I hope I am wrong in my opinion above. After the back and forth in this thread over the last few months, I didn't want to read about it much anymore. Living it though....hard to imagine it. Whatever you do, I wish you the best.

OMG I've been with one of those ISFP's....on them you are soooo right. It's horrible getting them to verbalize their thoughts, and especially their feelings. Wonderful flower children and daydreamers - horrible when you need to talk about something of deep concern.

I've seen far too many people switch back from one to the other. It's certainly possible, because it happens. And a lot of folks never look back. In this particular thread, obviously someone's going to crack, eventually. Probably Matt or the OP, based on how they handle conflict. Si just has to...

LOL, you might be talking to the wrong introverts. I'm an INFJ, and the only thing that keeps from trying to verbally process things is a room without people in it. :)

Wealth or poverty doesn't define emotions or ethics or the ability to suffer. However, I do think the OP wants to have her cake and eat it too, but that's most people. Just makes her a bit immature. Again, like most people. In this case after following this thread for a while, the patterns are...

I had to pause a few times before submitting the below. But, having seen this type of thing play out so very often in these forums, I'd like to give you the courtesy of honesty without sugar coating (which I think you occasionally get from others too concerned about offending you, or who desire...

I think I'm missing the cheating part. If you've already written about it somewhere in this tome, I apologize in advance for asking how their relationship got started? Was it an emotional or physical affair that you weren't aware of?

Your issues with him are germane to your relationship with him. I'm not sure that it's right or decent to lay your soul bare (or complain about him) to someone who doesn't want or need to hear it. Besides, if you were her, would you view someone like yourself as being remotely objective about...

Out of all of your relationships, I think the one with PN is most interesting to me. Not because he's your husband, but because of the apparent stable nature of that relationship, which ultimately drifted into friends only, coparenting only, etc. From your writings earlier in this blog, he...

You're not controlling him. Kind of the opposite. He's got you fixated as a result of his untrustworthy actions. If he were showing an honorable character all along, you wouldn't be here posting on this forum, most likely. So to me it looks like you're doing the heavy lifting to accomodate him...

I originally replied thinking you were referencing the cheating Sneacail, but in re-reading it looks like it was about the lying. I don't think a person gets points for improving the quality of their lies, but that's just me. But if I were you, after 20 years of being around a liar, I might...

In this case, I think the OP has a threat being held over her head to allow poly or move on from a guy who only admitted a recent affair after the other spouse found out, and has continued lying after it. There's lying, and then there's a level above it where lying is mixed with contempt for the...

I'm not sure it's your burden to find strength to trust, when it should be his burden to prove himself trustworthy. If he's proving himself a liar, and willing to keep things from you for whatever reason. Things that you REQUIRE for changes in your relationship to create continued stability...

I've never really understood your dynamic with PN, but figured you guys were much more comfort-based than passion-oriented, sexually and romantically, at least. Would his monogamy with another be that much of a change for you? It has always read like Mono is the true time-intensive relationship...

Did you mean your husband and not your son?

Same as Kevin - glad to see some positives amongst the gloomy stuff lately. :)

I'm pretty sure that was one example only, but if bidden her husband would probably have others. My assumption is Matt thinks that she isn't actually a parent at all, and that presence or proximity in the house does not make her one. Sacrifice on some level FOR the family makes her part of it...

I think your most recent comment is the most informative thing about you that I've read in this entire thread. It says a lot for how you process things. Namely, that emotional immediacy is tied to momentary proximity of thinking, and not necessarily to the overall situation. Good to know, as it...

Under similar circumstances, I don't know that many people who would be much different from how Matt is reacting. He makes some good points, and forcing reactions from him over the parenting quandary aren't making him look any better to you or anyone else. Matt's PR is beside the point though...

Yeah, usually you'll find that you can't undo a perception that's already been 'painted'. Most of the time, people don't even care about who looks worse. And for those that do care, you might not bother with anyway.