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Thank you - that helped a lot. I'm trying to do that and use this time to sort out my head, heart and spirit rather than see it as dead time. We have had a conversation. Things are still very much in limbo. He's been able to say what he absolutely doesn't want and what is still within the...

I agree that her behaviour hasn't been respectful of me. I think I would be a lot more unhappy if we weren't together though. She is important to me and I have always felt protective of her. From the beginning of our relationship, I have played the role of 'rescuer' and 'fixer of problems'. I...

The issue of starting a family had been a long-running discussion between us for the last few years. I had made it clear that I didn't feel it was the right time for us to have a child for lots of reasons - we were still working out what the poly stuff meant in terms of our relationship, we...

Thank you for the replies. There is a lot to think about but it's helpful to get other people's perspectives. In answer to some of the questions/points, I don't think it's necessarily that L doesn't value me or consider me important. It's more that she seems oblivious to other people's...

My wife, L, and I have been together for 5 years. We are both bi and were aware of poly as a concept and had poly friends but considered ourselves mono until about a year ago. We embarked on a relationship with a guy we knew slightly. It lasted for about 4 months and then disintegrated, partly...