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Thanks, Anneintherain. I haven't seen anyone else discuss a comparable situation in a forum, ever, where a partner wanted multiple sexual relationships despite a low libido. It's reassuring that I'm not alone. I may be quoting this to him: "I remain convinced nobody ever died from not having...

I do have two partners in addition to my primary relationship, one of whom I see four weekends a year. The local one has a busy life and small children and we will probably be lucky to arrange sexual intimacy together twice a month in the future, although it's hard to tell since we're very new...

Thanks, AnnabelMore. We've talked about him holding off with R and he's acting very unhappy about it, although he admits he did promise me "only one at a time" back before C came into his life. He definitely had more of a romantic spark with R early on than he's had so far with C, although he's...

My primary partner, D, has two lovers, me and his brand-new secondary partner C. He is interested in starting a sexual relationship with someone else, R. The problem is that D isn't very interested in sex to begin with most of the time. He has a fairly low libido and suffers from frequent...

No, she's getting over a woman. The timetable is, M was married to a man for a long time, and left him for a woman, was with her for two years, and then that relationship ended too. She calls herself bi (most of the time), and claims to be very interested in my male partner D, but has him on...

Thanks, Tonberry. If M. is only into women right now, that's fine. D would be disappointed but he'd survive. But she isn't being honest with D about that, if that is the case. She says she IS attracted to him, both physically and romantically, then says she isn't ready to date him at present...

My male partner, D, started seeing a female acquaintance of both of ours, M, several months ago. I have always liked M and was happy at the idea of D having a potential relationship with her. When we first met M, she was in a serious relationship with a woman, but told us that she identified as...

Update on the situation: The hostess of the gathering, whom I have only met once, listened to my concerns about former metamour respectfully. Then she went to my supposed friend and asked for more information about metamour and the situation. Friend apparently told her some version of "Don't...

NovemberRain, I may just take your advice here! WhatHappened, husband just doesn't want to lose friends and is always inclined to make allowances and excuses for anyone he is fond of. Anneintherain and km34, I have generally avoided discussing the ex and the metamour with my friend since she...

This could, I suppose, be a mono issue as well, but polyamory complicates it. I had a very difficult relationship end a couple of years ago because my partner was very obviously lying to me about some matters of principle. The situation included a female metamour whom I know for a fact tried...

One of my OSOs married right after college and has been with his wife for over two decades. He had no idea that polyamory existed as a concept, and indeed, I don't think the term was even coined until after he married. A few months after I met him he shocked me by admitting that he had had...

Your perspective was very helpful, nycindie, as was rereading the correspondence, and considering what I know about my friend. I have decided that she is not very self-aware and did not consciously mean to hit on my boyfriend, although it certainly looked that way. I think my perspective was...

I agree with you all that the weekend social event we attend together does cut into our one on one time. I don't know what to do about that. We both really enjoy that event and don't want to miss it, and it also has facilitated OSO getting to know my husband, which is important to me. My OSO's...

Ugh. I have a situation now that is troubling to me and I would love to get some opinions from impartial people who are not involved in the situation. I have a long-distance OSO who is very important to me, but whom I only get to see about four weekends a year. So far, half of those weekends...

So I just had my umpteenth person online respond to "No, thanks, I am not interested in dating you" with "I think you're (mean, rude, fat, ugly, stupid, or some combo of those) and I don't want to date you either, SO THERE!" I don't date women on their own, so I have only run into this with...

CielduMatin, these are some of the ways I've tried to accommodate J.'s needs: Spent time with him and his wife and kids on numerous occasions, even though his kids have some pretty extreme behavioral issues. I've been over to their house, had them over to mine, gone on outings with him and his...

I have a good male friend who would like to be more to me, and I am very fond of him, but we are stuck at an impasse that I don't see us getting out of. I was curious what others would think of our situation. I met J. on a dating site and we became friends and talked about having a poly...

I have one very simple problem with DADT relationships. Guy: It's OK for me to date you/sleep with you. My wife has given me permission to do what I like, she just doesn't want to know about it. Me: I see. Will she have one conversation with me and tell me that it's OK for me to date...

Whenever a married cheater contacts me, I don't even respond. Not worth my time -- and what do I prove by telling him off? Nothing at all, but I like to think that if every woman these guys contacted told them they were lying scum and to f--k off, at least some of them would stop polluting the...

Looking for that spark... Looking for a discreet friend... Not looking to change my situation or yours... Not looking to change my life, just make it more fun... Looking for drama-free fun... Cheaters have buzzwords. I should know, I have enough of them hitting on me online despite every online...