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I am so happy to read this Reverie. I’ll be hoping for your happily ever after.

Reverie, it’s been lovely to follow your journey all this time. I rarely post at all but I’ve kept coming back because your honesty and processing and learning was echoing much of mine though I have a very different life. Thankyou for all you’ve helped me to see I’m not alone with over the...

I’m 38 and happily married with two kids and I’m still agonising over whether to have another. I know you’re a little younger but I think there’s something about being in your late thirties/early forties as a woman that feels strongly last chance-ish and strangely compelling. I know a few people...

I never understand the hurry people are in in NRE. If you’re SO in love you’ll still be SO in love a year or two down the line when things have settled and you can take it as slow as slow can be and you’ll still be SO in love. On the other hand if you’re not that compatible as people or friends...

I don’t quite understand. If one member of a friendship would be friends with someone without being attracted to them what difference would it make if the other person were attracted to them or not? That’s already an example of someone showing up for friendship without ulterior motive. Why can’t...

To me marriage is just about choosing to legally share property and financial responsibility. It's just a safety net ensuring you can raise kids or work together to create a life and a home and one of you can't walk away with all the money one day. It has very little to do with the quality of...

I scored 1. We had trouble trusting each other early on. I was 19 and he was 22 and we had poor relationship skills compared to now (almost twenty years later!)

I think people can grow into a role with practice and can grow to love it with a particular partner even if it's not a need they have independently. My husband used to feel really awkward taking a dominant role with me and it didn't come naturally but a year or two of him being willing to keep...

Spork, I couldn't like your post more.

Getting my tonsils removed came with two full weeks of intense pain and then the following few years of getting bronchitis instead of tonsillitis. Things have been better since then, I had kids and lifestyle changes like giving up work and getting more rest and eating more healthily eventually...

I've felt some of what you describe feeling too Spork. I've been luckier with partners though and after a brief period when we had small children about ten years ago where dh was watching porn occasionally and it did mess with his desire for me we talked and both decided we wanted a satisfying...

House hunting is so much fun! I love your updates. We just moved a few months ago into our (hopefully) forever home.

If you do need the money for the surgery please share the gofundme link on here. I'd like to contribute if I can from the UK. Best wishes.

Life gets in the way. Time, energy and money are always finite. You can pretty much have anything you want but it's always going to come at the expense of other things you want. It's not just a poly problem.

We've had a fairly right wing government for the last few years and they've left the poorest in an awful state and the papers and various members of our government somehow managed to convince them than it was all the fault of the EU. Rather than our own government policies. EU grants were...

Congratulations on having done a fabulous thing for your kids. :-) We're homeschooling too but my youngest is right so we have many more years to go.

I agree with everyone else. But I see a third option you could think about together if you are open to the idea of polyamory. You stop employing the babysitter. He stops seeing her for now and gives you and your relationship the care it needs to recover from a huge betrayal. Then if you feel...

It's so difficult when expressing a desire is taken as an insult. Sonetimes people seem determined to assume the worst whenever we open our mouths and I'm not sure what you can do about that if they don't see what they're doing.

I also believe that leaving them to cry does no good and causes unnecessary stress for mother and baby. As humans we learn to trust, to know you can rely on people and to find joy and comfort in relationships, in our first short year.

Some things people do genuinely cause us harm and our negative emotions are hopefully protective against us allowing that to happen. It's the working out for you what's genuinely harmful and what is stuff you'd actually like to be ok with.