Search results

Women can do that too. Although it never lowered my desire for my partner. I guess it's a bit like eating celery when I want chocolate. I used to masturbate lots when my husband's desire was lower than mine but I still wanted him. He's special to me and wonderful and can't be substituted. Desire...

2 days without sex makes me crazy too. Why is it when a woman has a high drive it has to come from some negative like insecurity when a man's high drive is normal and healthy? Sex is wonderful. Wanting it is wonderful.

I think it's probably really common. It doesn't strike me as any more unusual than men being aroused by lesbian scenes.

Nothing useful to say but sending hugs and understanding from another adult child of an alcoholic.

I wanted to say something like Phy. Not standing up to his BS wouldn't make you a better person. Some people stay in very unhappy relationships or allow people to treat them badly. This doesn't make them better. Besides, you only have his word for it that she's handling it and he doesn't sound a...

I think to love and show kindness to others you have to have experienced it being shown to yourself. I don't think anyone is inherently mean but lots of very common childrearing practices are really quite unpleasant and not nurturing of loving sensitive feelings. It's common for parents...

Another thumbs up for LLL from me. I found so much support and friendship there.

I had nannied full time for 6 years when we had our first child. I knew I wanted to do kid things and family things and thought I was prepared to have very little time to myself or with my DH. We are still happily married and things are ok but we live in perpetual frustration with lack of...

I try to be radically honest with my husband, but with this in mind I live my life consistently with what I'm comfortable with doing knowing that he will find out. So I can honestly say to him that sometimes people pop into my mind when we're having sex but I choose to refocus on him and don't...

Communicating by written word is such a different skill and to do it well as a couple it can take much longer than communicating clearly in person. In written form the reader has to take at least as much responsibility as the writer as tone is largely imagined from written words.

It's possible, if people are willing, to take things extremely slowly and to grow a close friendship with someone that satisfies your emotional need for a person, and provides a base for slowly extending the scope of the relationship as and when people are comfortable. If everything is open and...

You haven't exactly learned to go about things in an ethical way yet either. Your relationship difficulties will follow you wherever you go unless you learn healthy ways of treating people. You couldn't have ended your marriage without cheating and sneaking around?

It absolutely changes and sex drive can go way up and down with the vagaries of life and particularly parenting and how they affect a relationship. I have a high sex drive, I seek out sex for comfort when I feel bad, as a way to help me sleep or even when I'm ill. My husband doesn't do this...

New relationships are not answers to personal crises. They are people with their own needs and messes and crises and adding more people adds difficulties, it doesn't solve them. You're stuck in this immature idealising NRE. Like a lot of others I feel angry and disgusted by the way you write...

I am also demisexual by that definition. I have zero desire for sex with someone I don't feel emotional intimacy with. I don't find photos of men attractive, not actors or pop stars or celebrities or models or male strippers or any of the rest of it. I do however strongly desire my husband. We...

I prefer sex to happen daily. My husband mostly keeps up but he's rarely the one to initiate. When he's tired from work or sick he loses his drive to a greater extent than I do. So usually he doesn't have chance to build up desire for me before I'm nudging him for it again. The interesting...

I don't understand this. You didn't always want to be with the children, but you thought less of her because she didn't always want to be either? If she felt you pulling away I think it's normal to end up focussing for a time on her relationship with you. We're human, we can't do everything...

The textbook answer would not have been to suck it up, but to behave ethically while continuing to state your needs and desires. If at that point your wife was unwilling to negotiate (there are a hundred permutations of agreements you may be able to suggest together before finding something you...

You're a good person, living your life with compassion and vulnerability and honesty, and all these things are strengths, not weaknesses. Weaker people guard their hearts and lie and lash out so they never have to feel what you're feeling, but they also miss out on the happiness, the wonderful...

There's no hurry. If you love someone and you're poly then opportunities are not time limited. It's not like they're having to wait around partnerless or can't enjoy a close friendship without sex while things get figured out. If you're upfront and honest and behave in loving ways you can be a...