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I'm with everyone else. You betrayed your wife when you did something you hadn't agreed on. It's not all about you and your feelings. Talking about it being the best kiss of your life sounds like you're already comparing and your wife isn't coming out well. You can't heal a relationship when...

Much love to you RedPepper. I don't think we can understand why people lie if we give our all towards living our lives honestly.

Thinking of you

I'm in the acceptance, kindness, honesty, ethics and empathy are evolved behaviours camp. Not how many people you love. Plenty of people claim to love more than one but there is very little of any of the above in their behaviour towards their partners.

For me personally, yes. Some people wish not to know if their partner has feelings for someone else and that's up to them. If you are hiding something you know your partner would want to know (or if you suspect they might make different decisions about your relationship if they did know) then I...

That said, feelings are different from behaviour. If you have feelings for someone you are concerned your partner will be upset about them but don't act on them then you are showing some concern for your partners feelings. I'd prefer honesty along with the concern personally but it's not the...

For me, it's coming pretty close. I wouldn't feel good about myself if I was hiding something important from my partner. I've always found the workof living honestly to be worth it thankfully.

I think if you start lying to your partner or concealing another relationship then that can be a betrayal as big as a physical affair. If it's honest and all are agreed it's ok then it's not an affair whether or not physical contact has happened so I'm not sure if there is lying involved why...

There's not a lot of time for hobbies which take us away from the kids and we home educate so the kids are always around. I crochet and read when they're occupied and they've recently started indoor climbing lessons so while they're busy with the instructor my husband and I can climb together...

Depends how far in the past, how often or how much they did it and how the person has changed in their approach or ability to deal with emotions or problems since then. I self harmed as a teenager, not lots but at times when I felt worst like just after being dumped by a boyfriend, when my...

I'd prefer to think of it as two fully grown adults controlling their own impulses for a time to show consideration and compassion towards another. It's not always better to just do what you want. It sounds like in this situation the third is also showing them compassion and working on his...

Or to give you another perspective, what's the rush? The excitement and uncertainty can be part of the fun if you can get yourself into a relaxed headspace about it. There is of course very little real certainty in any relationship. Could accept and care for the people around you and enjoy the...

You can be secondary in practical terms (just meaning less time spent together, lower degrees of life entwinement) without it saying anything about the feelings involved. You can define the word between you as it applies to your situation or make up a new one just for you if you like.

Personally, it took me about two years to feel trusting towards my husband again, after a series of lies and secrets. None were as bad as cheating, but they had broken my belief in him. He had to be completely upfront and honest, and show me that he was working on it for two years before it felt...

Hello from just over the hills in Derbyshire xxx

I'm in agreement with everyone else. She's not controlling or objectifying you. She's stating what she can live with clearly. That's great. Its not about controlling you but about controlling her own life and living it in a way that's true for her.

Competence. Someone who has put a lot of effort into becoming good at something is sexy. Mostly my attractions conversation based though, do I enjoy your company? Do you share your thoughts and feelings with me? Do you listen to mine?

I think in any relationship if one partner wants children and another doesn't want children in their life then there has to be some serious thought given to how this relationship can continue. I have two kids, I love them and I really love being a parent but it's a really really big job that...

I brought up the subject 10 years into a monogamous relationship without anything blowing up. My husband was concerned initially but we were really happily married and I didn't want to do anything to upset that so we discussed feelings at length but I never pressured him to be ok with acting on...

I'm with everyone else. This sounds completely about you and your desires and has nothing to do with getting to know new people and finding out their own personal goals and working together for mutual benefit. One child requires hours of time and input from two parents ideally and again ideally...