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It sounds selfish to me too. This is a time of rapid change and emotional neediness (not in a bad way, during pregnancy and early motherhood I believe all women should feel thoroughly cared for so they can focus on nurturing their child) for you that you can't escape. Why does he get to escape...

You don't have to agree to anything happening right now. You can say I accept you and I want to learn more about this and about you before deciding what I want or either of you pursuing another person.

I have no real preference. I love people and find them attractive for what they have to say and do, not how much hair they have. I'm willing to alter my grooming habits to some extent to fit with the preferences of the person I'm with, but I don't really notice or react to details like that myself.

I understand hurting. You've been deceived by him and you are feeling that and reeling from that. That's normal. It sucks. My husband has never professed to be poly but he lied to me about various things over a period of time and when he confessed to things we had to go through a period of...

I was just going to reply similarly to NYCIndie. This is your life, your marriage and there are as many ways to live while identifying as poly as there are ways to live while identifying as female for instance. She said it all really well! You can ask for what you need, you can agree or not...

I felt HFA was referring to getting help from an assistant or mothers help, not allowing your husband's crush into your home to help with the kids. There are many people and many different opinions on here. Some of us despite having poly feelings care very much for our husbands/wives first and...

This was some time ago now but I thought I'd post an update. We continue in our slow growing long distance relationship. My husband continues to be amazing and five years in it feels much more normal and relaxed than it did when I originally started this thread. I still only see my other...

I know I and others here have occasionally expressed the feeling that being able to be honest about poly type feelings can be enough without having to pursue them all the time. Everyone has to turn down opportunities at various points in life because every choice we make comes with the side...

I agree with InfinitePossibility on this one. I would just like to add that making ANY major decisions at this time in your life is likely to be a difficult thing to do. I would want to get through at least the first year of parenthood and preferably the first two years (as things seem to...

I don't think it's a strange interpretation at all. :-) plenty of people who identify as poly have long times where they are either happy with just one lover or while maybe wishing things were different accept that they don't have time for more than one. There are no rules. It's your life and...

You could ask him how much information he wants. I have never had to deal with my husband being interested in someone else so I'm unsure how I would cope but he needs as many details as I feel comfortable giving even if that makes him feel transiently uncomfortable because longterm he becomes...

His wife may be struggling right now if he is unable to give their relationship the attention it needs due to illness I can imagine it being a little scary to think of him taking on another relationship. It doesn't sound like he has much to give at the moment and if you want him in your life...

Bluebird, I sympathise lol. I have a higher sex drive than my husband and am usually the initiator though he's usually happy to be along for the ride so to speak. I think my ldr has rather a lower drive. We've never been together long enough or often enough to discover but he thinks that twice a...

To regain someone's trust you need to demonstrate understanding of how and why the betrayal occurred and show them by taking actions to prevent it happening again that you are serious about repairing things. And listen without getting defensive when they need to tell you how it felt or when they...

It's ok to have feelings and to express them though. If one of my friends got a new partner I might express that I was looking forwards to meeting them, I don't have an entitlement but I'm allowed to have a desire! What worries you about BDSM play? I can't see why it wouldn't be ok to share...

I don't think Cantaloupe juice would work in coffee either. Imagine giving coffee to babies? They'd really never sleep then.

Giggling at cantaloupe juice. I kinda know what you mean but I always thought if you mixed cows milk with water then added sugar you'd be pretty close lol. It's not very good in coffee though... Just saying ;-)

I have a very slowly growing LDR with my husband's best friend (and my ex confusingly) that has been going on about five years. There were very few things we were allowed to do at the start (he has his own primary relationship) but it slowly expanded as comfort levels grew. This was someone I...

That sounds like a really cool lovely coincidence to me. I'd be excitedly telling them both about it :-) Can you get them each to write a special something in the seperate copies and keep them both on display as a lovely part of your shared history?

I'm not sure I understand how he is supposed to feel better and stronger as a person when the central figure in his life keeps putting him down?