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If you're separating after just three months, you really haven't been together very long. It's probably good to focus on transitioning to friendship. But do you tend to run into problems with merging? I'd call it "lesbian merging," but I don't know if that's a word that resonates for you. It's...

As someone who has managed to disentangle myself from a toxic relationship (after thinking it would be impossible), let me just say... It gets better. So much better. You don't even know how much energy you are spending on this guy. You will feel so free to get out of this, and you will find...

You've never tried poly before, but now you intend to do so while making a life commitment to your first love? You're begging for a trainwreck. First loves involve a lot of mythology. You were kids when you met, with immature ideas about love and relationships. After you grew up, you wrapped...

Others have said it well. Establish boundaries and stand by them.

I think timing actually does matter, especially when you're poly. Love may be unlimited, but time and resources aren't. I've had times in my life where I could devote the time and resources to an extra partner, and I've had things shift, and take the time and resources away. Of course, bad...

I have seen too many relationships fail shortly after a tattoo or other body mod is done to honor the relationship. I'm superstitious about it now, and refuse to allow my wife (who collects tattoos) to get a tattoo for me or us. If I die, it's okay, but it's forbidden as long as I'm alive.

It's a little late for this to be useful, but this is why the "veto" agreement never works as the safety net that people hope for. You agreed at the start that you'd both have a right to call it off at any time, but that was never an easy out. All it ever was, was an expectation that you would...

It sounds like he is living in some fantasy land where he expects to have things the way he wants, and can't imagine any other scenario. So give him one. Talk about the practical reality of what divorce would mean. If he's insisting on maintaining an adulterous affair, he needs to see...

She sounds incredibly needy for such a new relationship. If she were dating someone who was mono, would they really be picking out china patterns so soon? Ultimately, her focus on the future seems to be about poly not fitting in her brain as a life path for her. Once the NRE burns off, she...

I agree with FallenAngelina. When you use the word "retarded" you instantly lose people who find that word offensive (like folks who have a loved one with Down Syndrome). As for your situation, it's clear that you place all the blame on her. Real life is rarely that simple. She didn't want to...

I also don't understand the comment about ethics, but you expressed an interest in having a things progress in a healthy way, so I'll address that. If you want the friendship with your FWB to be healthy, communicate the fact that you want things to move slow (so slow, you don't even know if you...

Nycindie makes a great point-- threesome sex is fun as a novelty, but way boring when it's the only kind of sex.

I lost some viable eggs. I spent my mid-thirties in a poly network with some lovely people, but none were interested in co-parenting, and I didn't think I had the strength to be a single mama. I'm now in my late-thirties and spending lots of money on fertility treatments. (Also, now...

I get that you might be feeling defensive around the criticism you've received. But really, nobody here thinks you're a bad person. After all, you're asking questions, seeking the advice of experienced people, and not just trying to place a Craigslist ad. Asking questions is good. Your fantasy...

When you mention independence, do you just mean financial, or legal as well? Do you want to be the sole legal guardian of a child, so you don't have to share decisions? (And custody, if the relationship ends)? The path of the intentionally single mama is not an easy one, but it is valid.

First, it doesn't sound at all like she's interested in a triad. She just wants to be friends, and it doesn't sound like there's any real spark between you and her. So start by letting that fantasy go. Second, it sounds like she wants a monogamous relationship with your husband. And he doesn't...

Don't do it. Tell your wife that DADT won't work, and you won't engage in other relationships unless/until she changes her mind. Tell her that the only people who might date you in a DADT scenario are people who would be willing to simply facilitate cheating (since they only have your word that...

Your friends will accept you, if they are really friends. But more than that, maybe, just maybe, there's someone in your life who will one day find out that their kid is gay. And maybe they've been kind of uncomfortable with gay folks, but because they knew you, and cared about you, they won't...

I can add a few notes to what Nycindie said. Different people eroticize power exchange for a lot of different reasons, so it's difficult to say that this is *why* they do it, or *how* they do it. Some people are strictly in it for the physical sensation-- the adrenaline surge that a masochist...

I'm usually just a lurker here, but I wanted to come out of lurking to respond to this. First, I'm so sorry that you're in this situation. I'm the kind of person who has had several major shifts in my libido in my adult life. When libido is low, it is incredibly hard on relationships, because...