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AnnabelMore, thanks for validating that-- I feel like a jerk sometimes for having resentment around that, so... thanks. It sounds like you're dealing with this in the best ways. Keep your compass steady (stay true to yourself), but sometimes exploring some uncharted waters can be incredibly...

It sounds like you're in a situation where it's normal to feel some upheaval, some insecurity, where it's easy for small things to hurt. I agree with those above who have recommended working on being okay with being by yourself sometimes. But I also think her desire not to meet you, her...

I can only add my own experience-- which is that I also left poly (and ended several relationships) because I knew I couldn't find the kind of partnership I wanted while poly. Among the relationships I ended, was a triad that had been primary-ish. I was the hot bi babe/unicorn/submissive-ish...

Just a couple notes to add. The whole point of privilege (as a concept) is that when you recognize that it exists, you develop a better ability to have compassion for and connection with people who don't have it. It helps open your eyes to their experience. If you want to take the position...

Yes, it's a problem that he agreed to something, and didn't follow through. But your request may have been unreasonable. For some, a kink dynamic *is* their fundamental relationship/romance dynamic. You basically asked that he behave as if he did not like her. More problematic, you expected...

I'm sure that sexual addiction is a thing that's possible, particularly if a person's sexual activity is keeping them from living the life they want. Interfering with holding a job, complying with the law, etc. But the simple fact that it keeps them too busy to engage in what you consider a...

If you are going to tell Joe that his continued relationship with Sue might be a dealbreaker for you, I think you have a responsibility to talk to Sue about it as well. You're mad at her, and she has right to know that. She also has a right to know that you're taking a stance that could, by...

I appreciate all of your responses. I don't expect that I'm going to say anything to B... I have written a lot of letters than won't get sent. It's helped to set out the words. But I don't think any good would come from actually engaging with her. But thank you.

My request for advice: The drama around B is mostly over. She doesn't talk to us, and we only see her occasionally from time to time at community events. She really does not like it when mutual friends (friends to both her and Squirrel) still allow Squirrel in their lives, so there's some...

So, a about 2 1/2 years ago, I was really happy to be poly. I lived alone. I'm kinky, bi, and a switch (and was sort of a unicorn). I spent my weekends with a couple, and spent about one weeknight a week with each of three other folks I was dating (who all had their own primaries, so I was...

Make your own choices of course, but in my experience, my relationships were the healthiest when I developed a friendly connection with metamours. The metamour who didn't want to meet me... Ended up showing the she'd let jealousy affect her so much, she worked hard at breaking up my...

I was poly for several years (approx 9, I think). I'm not poly any more. But it was definitely worth it, both for my experiences during those years, and for the things it taught me about myself.

Most divorces these days are no fault, but talk to a lawyer. Your husband might not want to divorce, but it's expensive to fight it, and litigating a divorce only makes sense if you have some incredibly valuable stuff to split up, or child custody/support to work out. Talk to a lawyer.

Just another perspective... You said that you are the one who expresses your feelings. Had you told them that you weren't feeling much affection from them, that you were presuming that they felt mostly friendship feelings towards you, and that you felt hungry for something more? It might have...

For my partner, a broken agreement (around safe sex) was enough to end a relationship. The end took a while to become complete (long, long breakup). But trust was broken. You make your own choices. I agree that poly with tons of rules is not a thing that works for a lot of people (I only ever...

I understand that you're searching for a thing that will make it all click, and let you understand your feelings, so you can get past this place of feeling unhappy. First, I'll just say, it's taken me some hard work on therapy to even get to where I can start answering that question for myself...

I could be entirely off base, but your post sounds like you might be trying to drum up business for this woman's web cam shows (which makes me doubt your story). Perhaps you could prove me wrong by deleting any links you may have posted, photos, etc.?

I have two people in my life who have bipolar disorder. Both have tried poly, and both have concluded that it is not right for them. They reached their decisions in different ways, but one element they shared was this: they both have a need for routine in their lives. Regular sleep, regular...

The whole "pick up artist" thing... That means he is deceptive and manipulative in order to get sex without getting emotionally attached. He is manipulating you. I would be willing to bet that all your feelings of jealousy and insecurity-- that's all part of the play he's working on you. You...

I agree-- it's not something you are, it's something you do. You may be "built" with an inclination towards one relationship model over another, but *every* relationship model takes work and communication skills. Different models have different challenges. It sounds like the first thing you...