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Given the statistics, especially with the number of people who have it and don't know, and given how unreliable the blood test is, I just presume everyone I meet has both strains. The more people I kiss, the more people I sleep with, the greater the risk. Period. I might actually be less likely...

To the OP-- The whole reason we have age of consent laws is that there is a power imbalance between young adults and teenagers. Because of your actual physical age, you have the ability to inappropriately influence this girl's sexual development. The ability to manipulate her. Even if you are...

I very much appreciate everything that y'all have said so far-- thank you! In my situation, I'm not altogether sure exactly how I'm wired. It took me some years to determine that I'm pansexual, though mostly lesbian (I came out as gay as a teenager), so I'm used to letting go of identity...

London, thank you for replying, but I guess I'm looking for the next step beyond "because I want to." Unless you are poly simply because it best serves your particular individual desires, and that's totally valid. Did you mean that "personal desire" is the reason you are poly, nothing more...

I have had some experience in poly (3 years in limited consensual non-monogamy, then 4 years poly), so I'm not a newbie. I am, however, in a position right now where I'm really analyzing *why* I've been poly. I'm trying to figure out the basic principles that made poly resonate for me. For...

Pregnancy often escalates abusive behavior. Let him know that you'll get a DNA test after the child is born (and he can avoid the litigation costs of taking you to court to require one), and that you will be sure to work out issues of custody and support if the child turns out to be his. But...

Just speaking from my own experience as a unicorn, it is actually totally valid to want someone to come home to, a partner, a partnership that is supported in public and semi-public spaces, something that community acknowledges as a family. It sounds like she's feeling a longing for that. She...

I think I'd draw a line somewhere between NRE and alcohol, as far as alcohol impairing consent, and NRE simply making you silly, but I'm not sure exactly why. Perhaps it's the simple fact that our brain chemistry is ALWAYS under the influence of various waves of chemicals and temporary...

I just want to say this to give you perspective, and I mean it gently. How you described the way you are acting sounds extremely unpleasant. I would not be able to stay in a relationship with you if you treated me that way. Between posting things on a social networking site, and snooping in his...

I know that the word "lifestyle" has been used as a sort of code for swingers, leatherfolk, BDSM fans, and even (back in the day) homosexuals. Are you using the word in order to evoke the connotations associated with those groups in some way? As someone who falls into many of the above...

Authorities do have the authority to cover up graffiti, sure, and they have the right to impose the will of the majority (for a plain beige environment) and to overcome the desire of the disenfranchised lawless minority for self expression. When I don't like what they expressing (if it's not...

I have always maintained strong relationships with (most of) my ex-girlfriends, but that's actually the norm for lesbians (mono or poly). My ex-girlfriends are my family. I always thought that ditching your ex's was more of a hetero thing, rather than mono vs poly.

Okay, well here's my advice, based on what you've described. It sounds like you've encountered a poly group that is having some problems. If the man at the center has three girlfriends who are all dissatisfied in some way with their relationship with him, it's very unlikely that he can "fix"...

I'm not sure I understand your situation. You are dating one woman. You are thinking about dating another. What is the difference between dating these two women, and being in the poly circle? Are you talking about moving in? Sharing expenses? Communal living, sharing assets? Getting...

When I was 18 (and 21, and 25), I was far more likely to put up with bullshit in bad relationships. When I love, I feel intensely loyal, and it is very difficult to make decisions about what I need to do to take care of myself. But the most important thing I've learned over time is devote more...

That actually depends on where you live, and how you donate (e.g., through a clinic as opposed to using a turkey baster). FullofLove, before you let your thoughts spin off in a million directions, you definitely need to talk to them. If your girlfriend is 35, she may have already made the...

I think a lot of couples who are starting to explore polyamory think that a tried would be an ideal relationship because it seems less threatening than dating separately (like maybe you won't be jealous if your partner falls in love, if you are also in love with the same person). In reality, it...

I had a relationship with a large age gap when I was your age. I feel like I sort of lost out on something, as the person I was with was in a totally different place in their life. I lost out on really being in and experiencing my 20s. But if you're 18 and trying to get pregnant, it sounds...

I also think that swing clubs might be more appropriate for you right now than dating. Or perhaps the "Casual Encounters" section of craigslist (do they still have that?), or something else where the one night stand is the expectation. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, by the...

I absolutely avoid trashtalking, and go further-- if a partner tells me something about a conflict they have with an OSO, I am very careful to communicate (1) that I can provide a sympathetic ear, to a point (I have careful boundaries around not getting too involved with their conflicts), but...