Search results

Ouch. You have a gift, my friend, of talking about your shit that turns it into poly gold for people who need to learn a few things. I especially like that you expressed your feelings about being sidelined by a drama llama. Sooo been there. Remember your feelings are just as valid. You and...

PaperGrace, I do hear where you're coming from.. One of the biggest concerns I had when I was a "professional secondary" (for lack of a better term -- I wasn't, however, getting paid for it :rolleyes: ) was that my loneliness would affect my perfectly good relationships with my partners. My...

I spent several years in your exact situation, albeit with more than one partner to whom I was "secondary." What I did to cope with unmet needs was this: evaluate each relationship on its own merit, not on what I hoped it might become under future circumstances. Decide if you are happy with it...

Compersion is indeed real and I feel it often. It is NOT the opposite of jealousy nor is it a cure or antidote for jealousy. Jealousy is its own emotion, to be dealt with on its own, just like happiness, or excitement, or sadness are emotions. Compersion is a lovely feeling that tends to be...

Lover, paramour, don Juan, Casanova.. ;)

I've been reading your blog here with a considerable amount of pain and sadness for what you're going through. As a friend and someone who values your company I wanted you to know how sorry I am you're having to go through this, and how glad I am that you have such an amazing poly family to...

I am fascinated by and grateful for my experiences of jealousy. They have indeed provided huge opportunities for growth, and have helped me create wonderful relationships because of the insights my struggles with jealousy have given me. No pain, no gain! So, while I'm not sure if I "love"...

You'll get no argument from me on that, TL4everu2. I've kissed my share of frogs in order to find my princes (and princesses). ;)

Interestingly, when I think about the poly people I've dated (some of them couples, some of them one half of a couple) I realize that many of my first meetings with them were with BOTH of them together. Usually this has been in social situations like parties or poly meets, but a few times it's...

Your weekend sounds just perfect to me! I can totally relate to how poly fulfills your need for diversity and letting different parts of yourself come to the forefront with different loves. This is why poly works so beautifully for me, also! How lucky we both are to have found partners who...

ROFL, RP! Oh my! Glad you had a fun night! ;)

I've been there with all of this, RP, with my ex-husband's parents' deaths (both in the time we were together and while our kids were still young) and I wish you energy and strength in the weeks ahead. The death of a spouse's parent is hard on everyone, but especially the person who takes on...

I had the pleasure of meeting one of the authors (Christopher Ryan) at the Seattle Loving More conference last October. Not only is he an engaging speaker (and pretty cute, too :p ), he was also very up front about how happy he was to be among poly folks, because we were so enthusiastic about...

Awesome! I am always looking for poly blogs to read and link to. I have been writing my own poly/sex positive blog for several years, called Polydexterity. It's here, if you want to check it out. http://kikimuse.blogspot.com/ Send me the link to yours! :)

Since I actually know the presenter of the asexuality workshop and spent some time with her this weekend, I can add a bit of insight to your question, RP. She dates quite a lot, and she is very upfront about her asexual orientation. Apparently there are quite a few men and women out there who...

I agree with Derby and Mono. Talking honestly about real relationship issues is what is most useful for people who are seeking support and advice. However, there is a time and place for teaching and a time and place for processing. Make sure you do what is right for you at the time and take...

That's easy! Today is my 2nd anniversary with my boyfriend, L. He came to visit me from his home in Vancouver on Valentine's Day with a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates (sent by his wife to the two of us!), two homegrown squash from his garden and cookies he made himself. Oh, and his...

I've been a bit remiss in reading the forum lately, due to my own need to pull back from my tendency to "do too much", but I did want to mention how much I care about you and RP, and your family, Mono, and offer support in the form of a listening ear (you know where to find me). I know only too...

A word of advice from someone who has been there, if I may. (I've been married, not married, monogamous, polyamorous, jealous, open-- the whole shebang.) Before you make "rules," try and figure out your needs. If you know what you really need from a relationship, it's much easier to figure out...

Poly panel discussion (Victoria) on Youtube Victoria Poly 101 and Poly 101 on Campus are proud to present "What is Polyamory?" on YouTube. Please feel free to comment, distribute and utilize this video in your poly community education efforts...