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I'm coming out of lurkdom to suggest that, while hurting people's feelings is not something anybody wants to do, being honest is really important. And being honest is probably kinder in the long run. You strongly feel that marriages are more sacred and special than other relationships. That...

What are the set of ideologies/ideas that made you pursue polyamory? How do you define polyamory? Not everybody is poly because of an ideology. Some are poly because it feels natural and normal. What social and cultural problems have you encountered (how do people react if/when you tell them...

Oh, absolutely. I don't doubt that people can be switches. What I was responding to is the idea that if or when people take a break from power exchange, they get to be their real selves. For many people, being in a power exchange relationship is a part of their real selves, even if they're on...

Well the thing is, a lifestyle submissive needs the other person to take the leadership role. To be dominant honours the submissive person's desire to not have the responsibility of directing the relationship. To be dominant respects the submissive's very real need to have somebody to serve...

To me, ethical means not harming other people. This is tricky. Some people believe that they are harmed if I support gay marriage. Yet no marriages between gay people would actually cause damage to others. But some people just feel bad when it happens. So part of being ethical means drawing the...

People tend to pull away from anybody who appears "desperate" for a partner. I like to know that anybody I'm considering dating is generally happy with life. If they're miserable without me then they'll be just as miserable with me, once the NRE wears off. Meanwhile, you do already have one...

Different types of people have sex differently. My approach with each person is "How can we increase mutual pleasure within this pairing." The dynamic between any two people in any given situation is different. When I identified as bisexual, having more than one sexual partner was important to...

I'm a straight woman. Being polyamorous has led me to meet a lot more bisexual/pansexual guys than I would have otherwise. In mainstream society they seem quite rare. Or maybe they're just not visible? Knowing so many bi men means I'm more likely to date them. I admit that I find something...

If that's what it takes to make your husband happy, I don't believe that this relationship is salvagable. I'm sorry to be so harsh. I realize that this is your marriage I'm talking about. But you need to be able to be yourself for a relationship to work. As to whether you can accept your...

My personal experience is that the men I've been with have always had a harder time when I explored love with others than I have had when they did the same. I'm not going to generalize to say that men are hardwired against polyamory, because my sample size is miniscule compared to the billions...

In my ideal relationship there is mutual love, respect and kindness. There is much laughter and shared joy. There is a sense of safety and strength in having each other. Each person knows that the other will always be there for them. There is support and encouragement for each other's emotional...

I see both sides of this. When a lover of tells me information of his sex life outside of me, I feel close to him. I feel an emotional intimacy between us. However, I do feel a little scared and vulnerable at the thought that somebody who is not directly my sexual partner would know what my...

This is something I'm trying to work out as well. I don't even know where to start with breaking up with somebody. In my previous break up, I did it at a coffee shop. It wasn't a very deep relationship. I really don't know how to go about telling a more deeply involved lover that things are...