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Limbo Limbo Lots has been going on....see here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=107802 We are currently in a weird limbo. Still have over 2 weeks before we see the therapist. We see each other every few days. We still text everyday. Trying not to talk about the hard stuff...

If the marriage is monogamous? Sure, of course you can decide to put each other first. But we aren’t talking about a monogamous marriage, we’re talking about a non-monogamous marriage. She started a relationship with “B” with an agreement with “A” that “B” would never become more than a...

I think the first mistake here was that they labeled the relationships as “A” and “B” to begin with.

Yes. Actually when I originally wrote "Seems like a disaster" I had gone on to explain the same thing -- specifically that it seems like a disaster especially for people practicing polyamory, because there will always be (perceived or real) obstacles to "spending every moment together." Those...

Thanks, I will. I had always thought of limerence as pre-relationship NRE — like the crush that you feel before actually telling someone you “like-like” them. Sounds like I might have the wrong idea about that concept if it is something that can develop during a relationship. ETA: Holy crap...

This is something I have pondered a lot too. I don’t even really remember NRE with my husband, but I definitely felt it with my boyfriend. We have been together over a year and when we were talking last night about whether our relationship is healthy or not (we are possibly going to part ways)...

Thank you. I'm trying to keep an open mind in both directions. Ponytail is too, although I think they mostly are just deeply regretting their reaction and wishing they could take it all back. But you are all right -- it can't just be undone....this is a symptom of an ongoing larger issue that...

Thank you everyone. I have thought a lot about what you all have said and it has helped me to stop and think when I am tempted to try to just pretend the last 48 hours didn’t happen. We talked in person today. It was hard and painful. I pushed back on the idea that we could just close off the...

Everything is falling apart. I am devastated and confused. Whiskers and I had our fourth date last night. Something clicked. We were both feeling more of a connection. We had sex. I was so nervous and self-conscious but I had a wonderful time and really enjoyed myself. We talked and discussed...

Wowzers! 4th date (finally — it had been like 3 weeks!) with Whiskers this evening. He picked somewhere with decidedly “romantic” ambiance for drinks and he picked me up. Even so, we hadn’t exactly had a lot of energy between the two of us in the interim between now and when we had kissed...

Another First Date Went out with the young guy from OKC this morning. It was okay. I had fun and he was nice to talk to. I didn’t exactly feel tingly sparks, but I don’t know that that’s a bad thing — so long as we mutually didn’t feel tingly sparks. Despite the fact that he said he was open to...

Ack! Not again! Why am I so fecking addicted to dating? I simultaneously love it and hate it. Every time I start to think, “okay, this time I am going to stop checking it/shut down my profile,” I suddenly meet someone cool that I want to get to know. This new guy is really easy to talk to and...

Updates and More Questions Just realized I hadn’t written for awhile and my last post was all about going on my first date with a girl.I mentioned in another thread, the date didn’t go super well. I liked her and we had chemistry but the red flags were pretty intense and I just couldn’t see it...

Ha! I read the tile of his as “Monopoly experiences?” And wasn’t sure whether to expect a thread on partners who seem to have a monopoly on the dating pool, or whether it was the about the stressful experience of playing the Monopoly board game with one’s polycule.

Just wanted to update that I hung out with Whiskers and his wife today and there was no weirdness or coolness at all. I was probably just imagining it because the situation in which we first met was awkward in general.

Holy crap. Guess I had missed the news today.

Thanks everyone! I will ask Ponytail how it would feel so that I know for the future. As it happens, this time When I mentioned that whiskers had canceled ponytail offered to come over and so it worked out smoothly

:eek: I’m not usually one for conspiracy theories.....but you paint quite the picture. Exactly how often has this happened in your social circle?

I think i wasn’t clear about what it is that I am asking. I am not asking what to do about the Whiskers situation, but rather what to do about making plans with Ponytail if Whiskers (or anyone else) cancels on me. Like, does it make someone feel like a “backup plan” if I offer to get together at...

You might find this resource helpful: https://www.morethantwo.com/polyforsecondaries.html Personally, I just don’t think of my boyfriend as a “secondary” partner - my relationship with him does not feel secondary to my relationship with my husband at all. But there are differences that are...