Search results

Thank you Magdlyn. I gotta add, after taking some time away from this post and re-reading it later, it sounds perhaps like I hate sex. And that isn’t the case. I just feel massively incompetent at it.

This is an interesting comparison. I feel like part of my anxiety is that I have no idea what I could be doing better. I don't know when I make mistakes. And if I do, I live in constant fear of making the same mistake twice. Part of the thing with sex is that it is so....unplanned. Not that I...

I understand what you are saying, but the timing is off from what actually happened — the erection issues were from our last date (2.5 weeks ago) when the double date was still far into the future and the return of the usual libido was actually the day of the double date — just a couple hours...

Thanks Vicki. Yes, I have a therapist that I have been seeing for a few years. I’ve made a lot of progress with her, but I have noticed that at times of stress my insecurities really come out. Things went great on Friday and I am in a much better place now. I still wish I had better ways of...

I have a partner (Ponytail) who had a really hard time when I started dating Whiskers. He even said that he no longer felt polyamorous -- that he felt monogamous and couldn't stay in our relationship if I continued to date Whiskers. Our relationship was causing us both pain. Through couples...

Overwhelemed I'm feeling anxious. I'm excited for the performance that I'm going to tomorrow with Ponytail and Whiskers. Everything seems to be going smoothly on that front and while I expect that there will be some awkwardness, I'm really really excited. But I'm also feeling kind of like a...

I've struggled with this a lot with Ponytail. Last year, Ponytail declared that he didn't identify as polyamorous and wanted the stability of just being in a relationship with me without other partners (aside from my husband, Glasses). I wasn't willing to do that because I was already dating...

I find fellatio to be really stressful. I have only been able to give oral sex to a man long enough to make him orgasm twice in my life. The first time we were both in our twenties and it was super exciting when it happened because it was unexpected. Since then, fellatio has always been more of...

I agree with AlwaysGrowing. I don’t regret coming out to anyone, but be aware that coming out doesn’t always mean acceptance. I came out to my parents and they were great. My mom was a little confused, but fine with it and my dad had no concerns at all. My sister was uncomfortable at first...

Update on “Double” Date and Sex So first of all, we made arrangements for Whiskers and I to start our date early on the evening of the performance. Whiskers and I will then drive to the theater and after the performance, Ponytail and I will go home together. In the end, I decided this was what...

Ha! Just re-read this. Tinwen it looks like you hit the nail on the head!

Update Just an update: things are a lot better. Last night we (Ponytail and I) had sex and it was amazing — I initiated it, I was excited for it, I brought out the “extras” that made it fun the way it used to feel. And I think I know what made the difference: I was well-rested. I know it...

This would be my ideal too, but I don’t think we could swing it because we both have young kids who would be awake and so there isn’t a great place to have sex discreetly. But maybe one of us can ask our coparents to take the kids someplace fun to get them out of one our houses....

Thanks icesong. This is what I have been leaning towards doing too. I think I thought that I had to have it all sorted out in my own mind and declare my “decision” without letting their wishes sway my own. But in actuality I would prefer to involve them more in coming up with a solution. .

Thank you Dagferi, Evie and Breathemusic. I am so mixed up, I don’t even know for sure what I want. Getting out of the play, it will be late at night. If I am honest with myself, I will probably just want to go to bed. And going to bed (for sleeping purposes) is not something I do with...

Who do you take home? Ok, so I am really excited because for the first time since all the Ponytail/Whiskers drama last year, both of them are going to go to a social event with me. It is a group activity to go see a play we all want to go to — Ponytail has invited three additional friends (all...

Thank you Tinwen and Kevin. I have an appointment with my regular therapist this week and so I will start there. In the meantime I am trying to relax and not stress about it. I don’t see Whiskers for awhile and Glassed and Ponytail both know what is going on and so I am not worried about this...

Thank you, Leetah, Tinwen, and FallenAngelina. I’m slowly getting more information about what is going on. Last night I had trouble performing sexually with Glasses too— again, despite being excited and thinking that I was in the mood prior to us having sex. I am also realizing that the time...

I have spent the last 12 hours feeling inadequate and down on myself. I have been confusing Ponytail and sending him mixed messages — because I am confused too. I want to have sex, but the second that I start making moves in that direction, I lose interest and just go back to feeling sad and...

I think you are right. I think you hit the nail on the head. Certainly when he first started dating people, he was doing it *for* me. And that’s why it felt great at first. It is more recently — when he has been seeing them several nights a week and being all secretive about them — that it has...