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Maybe. I guess I see the relationship escalator as more of a set of social expectations more than a difference in feelings. And maybe that is part of what is going on here....but a big thing for me is that I am falling for him. That is how I am — I can’t have sex with someone and spend time...

The Sadness of Being Right I had written a whole long post this morning and it got deleted....I’m going to try to recreate it. In a nutshell, I hate it when my instincts were right and I have confirmation that all my fears were legit. My anxiety goes away, but it is replaced with grief...

So here’s where this all gets really interesting for me to contemplate....because no, I don’t get the impression that he is holding back at all. I had framed it in terms of asking him if he is comfortable kind of in the hopes that he WAS holding back for some reason, but really I am pretty sure...

So here’s where this all gets really interesting for me to contemplate....because no, I don’t get the impression that he is holding back at all. I had frames it in terms of asking him if he is comfortable kind of in the hopes that he WAS holding back for some reason, but really I am pretty sure...

Thank you for your insights. I think you may be right that the (in)frequency of contact may prevent us from developing the kind of relationship I am expecting/wanting. I dont’t think I am up for just being fun. That’s not really how my brain operates. I can want to have a more limited...

I think I calculated that we are on date 14. We started with dates every 2 weeks and have had some scheduling difficulties that have spread them out more. And yes, I think that the disparity between the length of time we have been dating and the actual amount of time that we spend in each...

I think my therapist’s point was that he must have moments of vulnerability and that he is holding back from expressing those to me — perhaps because he doesn’t know that that is something I care to hear. That what makes me feel so anxious is that he doesn’t express any vulnerability to me and...

I feel so stupid I’m hoping that this is temporary insecurity. I have been working with my therapist on communicating with Whiskers about my feelings of vulnerability/anxiety/insecurity. She said that really the only way to not feel the anxiety that I am feeling is to be brave and express...

I will answer your question from two perspectives. First of all, I am married and have a boyfriend who is (aside from his relationship with me) single. I can guarantee you that I don’t love my boyfriend any less than my husband. I can guarantee you that I want and expect him to fully...

It sounds like you are aware of the fact that you and your partner are not very independent. Forgive me if it has already been suggested, but this may help: https://medium.com/@PolyamorySchool/the-most-skipped-step-when-opening-a-relationship-f1f67abbbd49

Do you not even mention that you have already seen it? Or do you just not mention who you saw it with? I guess part of my discomfort is that when I tell someone I am going to watch something “with” them, there is an implied “I am saving this so we can watch it together and share in the suspense...

Okay, so for those who are familiar with my situation, things are going very well right now. I haven’t updated my blog for awhile but things have been working really well with Ponytail. He is going on dates and meeting new people and taking care of his social needs without me and I am able to...

I actually feel super awkward about it now. We haven’t talked in over a week or so. I don’t know what to talk about anymore now that my anonymity is gone. I feel a little guilty, but I also .....just don’t have anything to say? He was the one directing most of our chatting before and so I don’t...

Thanks. It is resolved. I checked in with him a little while later, asking if, in general, he had felt like I was asking for too much time. He said he was embarrassed to realize that he had been confused about when the next scheduled date was and had thought I was pushing for a faster...

So Whiskers and I only see each other about once every two weeks. Due to the holidays, it was over three weeks in-between our two most recent dates. Despite this slow down, we seem to be getting closer and when he suggested an lunch date for only 1.5 weeks after our previous one, I was excited...

For sure! I can see the appeal in some ways, but we both were in agreement that too many connections is a recipe for disaster.

It’s a small world after all So even though I haven't been looking for relationships for the last few months, I still have an active online profile. Occasionally folks will message me and if I am interested in chatting with them I will politely direct them to the bit of my profile that...

I know of a few different MFM V’s that live together. I don’t personally, know of any triads in that configuration. My boyfriend and husband are both pansexual and occasionally enjoy threesomes with me. It’s fun, but both of them have acknowledged that they aren’t romantically interested in each...

Just some updates So! Updates! Holidays went well, Glasses’s parents were cordial. I actually felt like we all had a great time, which was refreshing and much-appreciated. Glasses is going though a hard time with Ginger. He doesn’t tell me all that much, but I get the impression that he is...

Thanks Kevin. I think this is approximately what I’m going to say: “Whiskers, I remember a few months ago I suggested hanging out at your house and you said it would be a little awkward for an early date. At what point do you think that might be something that would be comfortable for you and...