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As usual, your advice to be direct is probably my best bet. I think my concern about being pushy is that I felt like I had already gotten an answer from him on that point. But you are right, suggesting something and being told “not yet” is not the same thing as being told “no” — and asking...

My newest partner (Whiskers) lives with his wife and her other partner. They all coparent their baby together. Collectively (when checking schedules, etc) Whiskers refers to his wife and metamour as his "family." Note: I'm realizing that I don't have established nicknames for all of the people...

S’wonderful Things are continuing to go well with Ponytail. He has been going out, going on dates. On Saturday he had two dates — and in between them I went with him to his family holiday party, he helped me go grocery shopping, and we went to my place and fucked. So basically his day was...

IS it just a stupid pet name though? Seems like there is more (a D/s DDLG dynamic) going on here and that she is concerned about her role being usurped. It is not unusual for folks in D/s dynamics (aside from scene-only play) to have a hard time with someone else filling the same “role” that...

I agree with all of this! Sounds, honestly, like the situations where a “veto” would be desirable are situations where there are already some toxic dynamics. I can’t think of anyone in my life that I truly cannot stand to the extent that I wouldn’t be able to handle them as a metamour. And it...

Therapy with Ponytail I went with Ponytail to his therapy appointment yesterday. I was super nervous because, as devotees of this blog may recall, the last time I went to one of Ponytail’s personal therapy appointments, his therapist’s cavalier attitude made me so angry that I stormed out of...

He has a plan Ponytail and I spent much of the weekend together. We cleaned, played games, watched YouTube and had a snugglefest on the couch with Glasses , etc. Ponytail had gone out on an OKC date on Friday evening and they ended up seeing a movie and getting drinks until quite late at...

In Limbo Well, I tried to break up with him. I summoned all my energy and explained that I thought we should break up, that we just want different things, that it will be painful now but that we will get through it...he told me he didn’t want to break up because of a bad week of mental health...

Ponytail is feeling like he doesn’t get enough of me as it is — and is terrified of being replaced or left behind by Whiskers (or anyone else “new”) coming into the scene. He wants a semi-closed V — he wants to live with me and Glasses and for us to not date additional people. (“Semi”-closed...

Perhaps. I think he really feels he CANNOT continue because me being in a relationship with someone else makes him feel so sad. So he is trying to be clear about his needs and “stick up for himself” — but if my response is, “then I cannot meet your needs,” he is like, “no, that’s not what I...

Feeling cold and alone Just got back from therapy with Ponytail. It was awful. It was a really difficult, painful session. We talked about how Ponytail still feels like he is in so much pain and how that's not what either of us wants. The session culminated in Ponytail saying, very calmly and...

Get another opinion. I got Nexplanon and I, personally, had a horrible experience. Libido wasn’t even a factor, the other side effects (constant cramping, sore breasts, and nausea) were so bad and getting worse that I had to get it out after only 3 weeks or so. I was a teacher at the time and...

Your most recent post was so full of positive energy that I didn’t want to ruin things...but I just wanted to say that I totally empathize with what you are going through with PunkRock. My dad hid his alcoholism so well that by the time we noticed he was having weird silly behavior and...

I think this is what hurts — I might have been okay with an activity/fucking partner too, if that was how things have been laid out. But it isn’t. He never said that was what he was looking for — and neither did I — and so it feels like that is how he is treating the situation even though he...

I think I need to end things with him Things are going well with Ponytail. I am more hopeful. We had a productive therapy session today. I think I need to end things with Whiskers. Last week I was going to drop something off at his house and he suggested that I come over before his wife got...

Feelings toward a person vs feelings towards the idea of a person I had a great time with Whiskers today. We spent about 5 hours together. I helped his family out with a task they needed help with, then the rest of his family left and he and I had a talk about sexual boundaries and then we had...

Whiskers Update I just posted about how things are going in therapy with Ponytail. Thought this might be a good time for an update about Whiskers. Things are generally good. I still have bouts of crazy anxiety from time to time. He is still kind of distant and not super emotive. I feel like...

Thanks. I don’t know exactly what our contract will entail. Thus far, we have been working on identifying needs — specifically, Ponytail’s needs during ASD-related meltdowns — and that has helped a lot. I like the idea of contract check-ins. Because our D/s dynamic is ongoing and doesn’t...

Thank You Thank you all for your encouragement. I know that this relationship has been struggling with codependency issues for awhile and that you all have been trying to encourage me to consider going our separate ways for quite some time. I wanted to update, though. We had our second...

Thank you. Reading this made me burst into tears (it’s okay, I’ve been crying on and off all weekend...) but it feels like I have some hope. It’s hard to imagine being friends with someone I have loved so much and felt such a strong romantic and sexual connection to. It seems like it will be...