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You might enjoy some of the recent polyweekly podcasts. There was one about 'designer relationships' followed by another discussing hierarchies not necessarily being bad but descriptive or current roles and priority. They are decent food for thought.

What you are saying makes sense. I was just saying that for me, such statements mean the same thing to my ears. When I hear I wish you were with me tonight, it reads much them same as I miss you. Mostly I wanted to put forward the idea that non nesting partners do experience more alone time...

For another perspective, I'm someone often in Dags position. I dint live with Real. I see him about 3 times a week due to various life constraints. Sometimes I miss him terribly and I say so. That doesn't mean I need or want a different structure. It's what I'm feeling. I need the feeling...

I have to second this. And thank Liz for the diabetes analogy. Idly I have diabetes and I have chronic depression w/ anxiety. I manage both with medication, exercise and therapy(for depression) as needed. Most people don't even realize I have these conditions. Once a friend asked me why I...

I think it's best to evaluate each different relationship and meta relaunching separately. In my network, Real and Lady and I are close. We hang out together on weekends, have family time, celebrate holidays and birthdays, vacations. Yet as much as lady and I have explored a deeper...

I had great parents. But never a great desire to be a parent. Which is a good thing as I can't have kids. I've had my struggles with this. I teach though so I get 120 kids (teenagers) every year. I just want to say that having bio kids is not the end all be all some say. My life is very full...

Real doesn't have any problems. His approach is very relational though. He'd rather go months with out dating than do the casual sex thing. He's very clear about that so he draws like minded people. He also looks more at shared interests as opposed to complementing more superficial stuff...

My friend cathy hates to be touched in her sleep. Has to sleep alone to rest. She always gets rooms with 2 doubles. That way she can snugglecuddle intimately connect before and after sleep but still gets rest. This doesn't sound like the OP issue, but I figure it could be helpful for some.

Threesomes only work well if everyone wants it at the same time. Otherwise emotional time bomb. It's okay to not want one. This is something real and lady and I deal with a lot. We've had regular threesomes and we have to check in each time with all parties. Also threesomes are put up as...

Compeletely doable. Just be upfront that your family will always be a priority. I know many folks that are similarly inclined. As long as all parties understand that your nesting partner and family have a certain place for you, it can work. It may limit your pool, but honesty about your...

I prefer at least meeting my partners serious significant others at least once. Sometimes that's not a possibility. But I always figure that if say fox and I got in a car wreck or something that I could call his girlfriend etc. Meeting a meta in the ER is an awkward first meeting. You can't...

Lad y and I are pretty good friends. We both enjoy musical theatre which real doesn't care for. We are also both teachers. The common ground is nice. So we have girl dates every do often. We hang out just us every so often. I prefer being friendly with my metas. While it's not a...

She might think she has to Co sleep. Open up the conversation. State what you are most comfortable with. Let her state what she is most comfortable with and let farmer state what he is most comfortable with. Perhaps have everyone write down their preferences ahead of time and then talk...

Barrier free and regularly tested across the vee. Fox and I only use condoms when he has other partners between tests. Anybody new has condoms until trust and testing have happened. Lady is barrier free with her dom but he enforces barrier use and testing with their play partners. That was a...

We do the extra sheets and two blankets things when we are all Co sleeping. 3 twin sheets and two blankets. That way I don't steal lady's blanket as I'm a blanket thief. It also allows real who is in the middle to be able to kick a foot out if he gets too hot. Sleep is important and means you...

My only advice is to try to put an agreement in place about looking at problems from both roommate and relationship sides. Ex one person is upset that another didn't clean up dishes immediately after having a romantic dinner. It's the next morning and someone is upset. Is this a...

I'm the non live in partner in a vee. It is totally reasonable for you and him to not be available all the time. No one needs to be tethers at the hip via a cell phone. If it helps here are different things we have tried when one member of the vee or another were having a high communication...

As someone who would be in the boyfriends position were something weird like this to happen in my configuration, I have to say. I would be devastated if my 3 year relationship was put on arbitrary hold. I respect your decision to follow your husband's request but I would advise you both to...

Just want to give the op a big hug. It sounds like your situation is painful for you at times. Poly configuration with a couple do not have a mold, but yours doesn't seem to be working for you. I am for lack of better words an addition to a couple. And we now find ourselves in a vee similarly...

We aren't really ldr unless a busy life and an hour drive counts. But we watch Netflix movies or the same tv shows and text throughout to have a connection when we can't be there face to face.